★ 20: I Hate Him

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ships : jander
genre : fluff
this is my (first?) entry for rosy's valentine's day fanfic contest! :D

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Jake Sterling is the most annoying person I have ever met.

I hate him.

I hate how he and his friends picked on our club for so long and then joined it out of the blue, saying he has a passion for singing. I hate how he actually does have a talent for singing. I hate how he was let into the club as the lead singer. (But he's pretty good, I'll admit.) I hate how I gave him a second chance and how he didn't ruin it.

I hate him.

I hate how I'm so fixated on him. I hate how my mind drifts to him when there's nothing else to be bothered about.

I hate his face. Instead of a smirk that showed up whenever he was picking on us, I now see a kind and genuine smile on his face more often. It's annoying, but it certainly is better. I'm not very good at maintaining eye contact, yet I could gaze at his eyes for hours as if they were the stars in the sky. His laugh used to be cacophonous, now it's slowly becoming a melody to me.

I hate how he acts. He's become nicer over the last few months we've gotten to know him. I can sense his sincerity in all he's done for our club. He's also stood up for us once or twice. I've lost my doubts about him. I still hate how he treated us in the past, but I'm considering forgiving him now.

Dammit.

I hate him... but maybe not completely. I hate that. And I hate what I'm about to do.

My feet take steps across the crowded hallway, dragging me with them. I keep my eyes on the glossy floor but turn them up after I accidentally bump into some jock. I mutter a quick apology to him before walking away to reach my destination.

The beige wrapping paper crumples in my hands and the deep red roses in them bounce with every stride I take. A matching ribbon holding the bouquet together shines under the eye-straining white lights on the ceiling.

Golden yellow lockers and chatty crowds pass by as I near the person I'm looking for. Anticipation and worry make each thump in my chest louder than the last. My feet are suddenly back in my control. Unfortunately, I've forgotten how to walk properly. Now I'm just placing one foot in front of the other and trying to keep calm.

There he is. Jake Sterling. The most irritating person on this planet in all his glory.

I stumble over to him, the bouquet almost slipping out of my hands.

"Jake," I call out, which was enough to get his attention. Good, because I can barely say anything.

"Oh, Zan. What's up?"

That's another thing I hate. That nickname, and how I only let him call me that.

I stare at him. That's it. I just stare at him. The flowers are choking in my grasp. The ceiling lights are so bright and they're burning me. The students have never spoken to each other this loudly before, but the sound of my heart pounding is somehow even louder.

It must've been hours since I said something. This is so simple, why can't I do it?

"Um..." I break eye contact. Now the roses are gasping for air and begging me for mercy. I should finally give it to them.

With any confidence I can muster, I shove the flowers into Jake's chest, relieving them of their suffering under my sweaty hands. He manages to catch them before they fall.

"H... Happy, happy Valentine's Day." I curse at myself for stumbling over my words and not making eye contact.

More hours pass. I turn my gaze a little higher to see Jake's face. I can't read his expression, but I hope he isn't upset.

I can hear the faint clicking of my nails as they pick at each other. I put my focus on it and start trying to regulate my breathing. I'm feeling a little calmer now.

A gentle laugh stands out against all the chaos around me. All the worry that built up in my mind fell away, crashing somewhere where they'll hopefully never come back from.

"Aww, thanks!" he says to me with the genuine smile that despite being mildly irritating, made me hate him less.

I feel a smile tug at my lips. He's not upset.

An arm wraps around my waist, and I am greeted with the scent of peaches and the warmth of a body close to mine. I see the rose bouquet is in Jake's left hand, set aside. I hug him back, my breathing and heart rate finally back to normal.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Zan."

I don't completely hate Jake Sterling... and maybe I don't completely hate that.

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author's note :
I hope you like this one! 💝 (I'm definitely making more entries for the Valentine's Day contest >:D)

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