Moist Cr1tikal (Charlie White) imagines

Sleepless nights and cuddles

I've been struggling with insomnia for a long time, having trouble falling and staying asleep. There's nights were I won't even sleep at all before having to wake up and start the day.

Tonight was one of those nights. It was 5 AM and I still hadn't been able to get a second of sleep. I was laying in bed with my boyfriend Charlie, who was sleeping peacefully right beside me. I was getting more and more frustrated and anxious about the sleep I wasn't getting, to the point of tears coming out of my eyes. I just felt broken, and also ashamed for feeling this way about a stupid thing like this.

Charlie must have heard me sniffling because he suddenly woke up. He took a few seconds to get his senses going, before looking for what woke him up. When his eyes landed on my tear covered face, he quickly sat up and pulled me into his lap. I was facing him with my legs on the sides of his hips, his hands holding me tight and my arms wrapped around him.

"Don't cry, babe. What's wrong?" he quietly said.

I was trying to get the air in my lungs to be able to muster up some kind of answer, but the sobs just kept coming and coming. I couldn't stop them and I didn't know why. I never cried like this.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, you're okay. We can talk when you calm down. Everything's okay, babe" he kept reassuring me, being the lovely person he is.

I slowly managed to quiet down enough to try to explain what was going on.

"I..I..I c-can't sleep, Charlie." I said meekly, with the sentence coming out as a sob.

"Oh, my baby, you've been up all night?" he said.

"Yeah." I replied with a sniffle.

"Okay babe, how about this; I'll go and make you some hot tea, your favourite, and we can watch some movies while cuddling until you fall asleep. Or I can just hold you and cuddle with you, I'll make sure you're fast asleep. It's all up to you, my dear."   he said lovingly. Charlie was always there for me when I needes him. There was nothing else I could ask for.

"I'd like it if we just cuddle." I said.

"Just cuddle? That's great, I'll stay as long as it takes for you to fall asleep. I hate seeing you like this, it tears my heart apart. Come here, babe." he said whilst rolling away from me and on his back. He gestured with his hand for me to lay on his chest.

I put my head on his chest and he put one of his arms on my back and the other stroking my hair.

"Thank you." I whispered so meekly I'm suprised he heard me say it.

"You're so very welcome. Always." he replied.

Every now and then, Charlie would kiss my forehead and reassure me. He would bring his hand to mine and squeze it, he would kiss my cheeks and move his hand up and down my back.

"I love you." he would whisper in my ear.

I layed there in his arms like that for a long time, but I was happy. I felt safe and comfortable with his heartbeat in my ear. My mind started wandering to all the times this exact scene happened with me not being to sleep, and him always being so calm and understanding. Somewhere while I was traveling in my train of thought I fell asleep laying in my lovers arms. That night I must've dreamt of brown eyes and long hair.