"I don't think y'all understand... this girl listens to me tell her about Von, she understand that shit.. she understand me. She don't be insecure because she know her place in my life..."
In which Asian is scared to love again until she meets Shai.
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I laid across the couch on an Instagram video call with Meshaiah. We wasn't talking about shit in general but I love being on the phone with her mean ass, she reminds me of myself so much that it's crazy. She looks like me too - to make shit even crazier, I loved being on the phone with her even if neither one of us is talking. It's been a month since I last seen her but I been on that line heavy, we still didn't swap numbers yet though but it's cool with me. I don't like her ass hanging up for no longer then two hours besides when I'm busy or doing a show because who else you need to be talking to besides me?
I'm starting to feel for her how Von felt for me but I don't want to rush nothing with her. I want her ass around for a long time I can tell but I don't want to end up hurting her knowing I'm probably not ready to settle down just yet.
Plus I just lost Von last year, well that's not really an excuse but still. I fuck with a few niggas as friends with benefits but not on no I wanna be in a relationship type shit, they all know what it is and what it ain't. And before y'all start yeah I already explained that shit to her, she cool with it because she said some along the lines of 'that's fine, I fuck with somebody anyway' I'm not gone lie I started to call gang nem because who the fuck?
This why I'm scared to be with a female, she got one time to fuck somebody else and I'm beating her ass. We both females it ain't abuse but on gang that's how I think and ion really think that's okay but hopefully she can teach me a lil some. "Meshaiah" I called out studying her side profile, she just pretty as hell all together because ain't no way somebody look that damn perfect from the side.
She turned to look at me so I smiled at her making her smile back. "I wanna see you" I said making her roll her eyes "I'm good." It was now my turn to roll my eyes "Bitch I'd think you was a catfish if I hadn't already met you in real life." I said honestly "girl... I'm not.. you know what fine, I just don't like to be around a lot of people and you always have a group of people with you." She explained
"Then I won't bring a big group of people until you get used to them" I said making her nod "Fine, I'll send you my address." I nodded standing up stretching, I lowkey heard some pop but that ain't none of my business.
"Damn ima have you some water for when you come over here!" I heard her yell before laughing "Girl fuck you, I drink water" I said scrunching my face up "Hm, bones popping like firecrackers" she said still cracking up, "Girl I almost said some, bye send me yo address" I said picking my phone up.
"Okay I'll send it to you." She then hung up, I lowkey want to stay in today instead of going out so we just about to be chilling at her place I guess if that's cool with her. I'm such a hood nigga in a female body that it's crazy. I got up and redid my whole ass routine, and even re took a shower even though I did all this shit this morning. When I finished I got dressed in one of my custom made hoodies, one of my favorite ones too, the jogger pants to go with it and some Jordan ones.
I then grabbed my bag which had my weed and other necessary things I needed, I always bring this bag with me wherever I go.
When I made sure I had everything I grabbed the keys to my Range Rover and started driving to the address she sent. When I got there I called her phone so she could come out to me, feels weird just walking up there to the door because what if she got dogs? What if she live with somebody?
She answered on the second ring "Come out here." I said as her face appeared on my screen until she turned her camera off "Girl.. here I come." She said before hanging it, moments later the front door opened so I got out and made my way to her after locking my car doors. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug, she's so little man... she hugged me back before I pulled away "it's cold as hell out here, come on" she said grabbing my arm pulling me inside of the home.
I closed the door behind us locking it, I love being in a regular size home, it reminds me of the times before the money and shit. We kept walking until we reached her room I'm guessing, it's nice as fuck in here no lie.
I sat down on the bed and she laid sat down comfortably. The tv was playing lowly in the back so I opened my bag and pulled out one of my pre rolled blunts, I put the bag on the floor before lighting it. "How was your day?" I asked blowing out the smoke, she turned to me and shrugged.. "You should know, you been talking to me all day" she said playfully, I peeped her trying to be closer to me without being closer to me making me laugh. She looked at me confused.
"Just come here if you wanna be over here, you so extra, don't make no sense" I said shaking my head with a small smile, she smacked her lips but still crawled across the bed to me, she stopped when she was next to me and laid her head on my shoulder. I pulled her into my lap before taking another pull from my blunt, I held it for a minute before blowing the smoke the opposite way from her. I finished my blunt while she watched tv because she had already been told me she don't really smoke.
"Meshaiah" I said putting my face in her neck, she was straddling me and I had my arms around her waist tight as hell. It's crazy I would've never thought I'd be this comfortable with a female besides my friends and this is on a whole different level, with them it was playful, with her I wanna fuck.
I for real wannna do more then fuck her but like right now I wanna fuck, she looks good as hell. "Hm?" She responded playing in my hair, "You so pretty, you wanna hunch?" I asked making her bust out laughing, like she was rolling. I sucked my teeth "Misharron.. thank you for the compliment." She said grabbing my face making me look at her "But I'm not doing nothing with you, I'm not dumb girl" she said using her thumbs to trace over my face.
I do not play that touching my face shit but after knowing her for a month now, damn near two, I know that she is the cleanest person ever. "What you mean you not dumb? I never even said all that," I said raising my eyebrow at her "You know what I meant, I'm not trying to be one of your little fuck buddies, friends with benefits none of that. I'm not with letting somebody fuck me then leave me, if that's what you want you can leave me alone like right now." She said looking me in the eyes, I rolled my eyes as she got off my lap after getting my arms from around her.
"What do you want then?" I asked making her sigh like I just killed her whole damn vibe "I want a relationship.. I'm not saying now, I'm not saying it have to be with you." She responded making me make a face at her, she don't even know that I'm the only person she can ever even be with from here on out.
It's been like that since I met her and Ian never been this 'crazy' or possessive over nobody besides her, nobody having her and I mean that shit.
"I just want to vibe with you right now, you already know this... we talked about this shit stop, stop doing that now come here" I said pulling her back to me, I'm horny as fuck. I put my face in her neck placing small kisses on her neck until I found her spot, she whimpered but didn't say anything. Not dumb my ass. She really not dumb though, I really don't wanna fuck her and leave her. I'm confusing yea I know.
"Hm, stop. I wanted to watch movies with you" she pouted, I shrugged and nodded "We can do whatever you want gang" I replied making her roll her eyes "Stop calling me that shit Misharron" She said irritated as hell before turning to the tv, she went to Netflix to find us a movie. I mocked her before we both ended up laying at the end of the bed on our stomachs, well she was laying on my back. She clingy as hell but I like it. Makes me feel like somebody actually really care deeply for me.
