Lovesick | JERRIE

3.

5 months earlier

"I need time."

Perrie was staring at the text message for half an hour straight. She knew what this meant. It happened too often before Alex.

Time...
Time to separate.
Time to move on.
Time to forget you.

Her whole world crashed in the matter of three words. Destructing to it's base. Fundamental narcissist. They all only thought about their asses, not giving a single fuck about Perrie, neither somebody else's emotions. Satisfaction was found easily when you didn't look below the surface.

***

"We need to break up for now."

One week later the bad news lit Perrie's screen. Announcing their horrible presence.

She didn't reply to Alex since his last message - "I need time.".

She gave him time then. Enough time to be alone, to think thoroughly what to come next. What Perrie was so terrified to read yet her expectations were whispering it was on the way.

Alex

The name appeared on the screen followed by the annoying ringtone. Her body froze despite her heart started monstrously pounding inside her chest, threatening to tear the skin apart and just escape out of it.

Silence. The phone went back to it's rest. Now dangerously indicating to Perrie that Alex wouldn't stop calling until...

"Perrie?" she picked up immediately when the second call revealed his name again.

Oh, his voice was laced with the same sweetness, now a little modulated. Although, she wasn't ready to hear the penetrating words afterwards.

"How are you?" the audacity to send a devastating text and this to be the first thing he asked.

"What happened with us, Al?" Perrie shakily said; ignoring his courtesy.

"I'm sorry, Perrie." he mumbled.

Did he really feel guilty tho? Did he know how it felt to pull a heart apart and then act like you didn't mean to do it?

"Sorry for what?"

He shut. This was to soothe himself. Securing his soul that he didn't break up with his girlfriend heartlessly. That he dumped her in the friendly way. The trivial excuse. "It was my fault.".

"For disappointing you." Alex uttered at last. "I really—"

The line was cut. Perrie hung up. Explanations were unnecessary. You said what you had to say. Not following the plot of the whole relationship to point at least one of your mistakes to justify the "I'm sorry.".

"I'm sorry" was for these rare occasions when you consciously did something wrong and you wanted to turn back the time. Not speak up after a pre-finished fact. A one sided decision.

The screen enlightened for the fourth time.

Alex: if you ever need anything, I will be here

"Yes, Al, I need you... where are you now?" Perrie asked the empty room.

Alex's voice stealthily running through the channels of her brain and answering with soft "I'm here.". Perrie knew that he wouldn't come back. Neither the words in Perrie's head were true. Hope was the ultimate lie she could depend on right now.

Perrie left her phone at home. She didn't need to call anyone and there was no human alive who would look for her. She walked on foot along now familiar path to the night club. The past weeks her self made sixth sense was telling her on a daily basis to go and comfort her inner needs. Couple of alcoholic drinks and maybe a doze or two.