𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫 | 𝐃.𝐌

13

"I'm scared you'll see me, how I see myself"

_____

As Draco walked he loosened his tie, he felt hot. Too hot. He shouldn't have done that-he thought. He is a death eater and he will only ruin her. Especially because of what happened to her parents. Merlin, what was he thinking?

He walked out onto the balcony, which looked out onto the black lake and the stars shined brightly down on him. He leant forward on the ledge, both hands leaning on it.

"Draco..." he heard a kind soft voice from behind him.

Draco turned almost immediately. "I'm sorry Lena, I don't know what I was thinking," he said as she walked towards him.

"I-" he said but was stopped by her lips kissing his. He was shocked at first but he quickly wrapped his hands around her waist tightly, pulling her closer to his body.

They kissed under the night sky as their tongues danced around each other. Tasting one another's breath as their hands explored each other's bodies. This kiss spoke more than words. This kiss was almost a promise of happiness for them. Lena hasn't felt happiness in so long, almost as long as Draco. But they felt happy in the presence of each other.

Their kiss broke and their touch on each other slowly became none existent. But they stood inches apart, looking at each other. Rigid breaths and shivers on their skin from the night.

"Why did you do that" Draco found himself asking, barley a whisper.

"I- I'm not sure but when you left, you left me wanting more," Lena said, surprising herself with the sudden confidence.

He looked her deep in her eyes.

"Why did you run out," Lena asked.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Draco said as he turned back around, leaning his hands on the ledge and looking out onto the black lake "I wanted to. I really wanted to but I'm not good for you"

Lena stepped forward so she was now standing next to him.

"Why," she asked.

"I'm not who you think I am," Draco said "I've done things. Bad things. And bad things will only continue to happen. You don't deserve that, you deserve better than me"

"What if I don't want better" Lena murmured "what if you're all I want"

Draco turned his head, with watery eyes and furrowed eyebrows, he looked at Lena. Surprised by her words. But he knew better. He won't ruin her.

"No. I don't deserve you, I'm bad for you" he said as he turned away.

"What are you so scared of," Lena asked, almost annoyed.

"I'm scared you'll see me how I see myself" Draco looked back at Lena "I'm scared that once you see me for who I am. For- what I am. You will leave. You will hate me. And I can't lose you. You have been the best company I've had in months. Even if it's just simple small talk. I didn't want to talk to anyone until I met you. My only regret is that I didn't meet you sooner"

Lena was almost speechless. She couldn't believe or understand that Draco Malfoy just said that about her. But she also felt the same way. She met Draco at the lowest point in her life. When life didn't seem like something she wanted. When she was so close to ending it all. But, Draco saved her. Draco was there for her when no one wasn't, even if-like Draco said-simple small talk.

"Tell me!" Lena said "tell me what you are so afraid of me knowing and you'll see that I won't leave. You'll see that I'll still be here"

"I. Can't," Draco said slightly angry as he threw his hand in the air and brushed the back of his head with his hand

"I know you will leave. You will be terrified" he snarled.

"There's only one way to find out," Lena said "tell me"

Small droplets of rain started to fall from the sky, landing on their faces and hitting the ground. Slowly starting to fall heavier.

"It's not something I can tell you. I- it will be easier if I show you" Draco sighed.

"Then show me" Lena blurted.

Draco took a deep breath. Raindrops falling down his cheeks. He was scared. Scared she was going to run and he will never get to feel the way she makes him feel again.

He took a step closer to her. Sadness, danger and anger in his eyes.

Draco pulled lightly on the sleeve of his left arm as Lena watched in confusion. He looked around to see if anyone was watching them. He hesitated but pulled his sleeve up. Revealing the death mark on his forearm.

Lena took a step back in fear. She didn't mean to, her body moved for itself. Her eyes started to tear as the rain fell on her face, mascara smudged around her eyes from the rain. She starred at the mark on his arm. She didn't know what Draco was going to tell her or show her but she wasn't expecting that. She had heard rumours about Draco following in his father's footsteps but she never believed it.

Lena thought of the death eaters who killed her parents. She should run or scream for help.

But...

Draco wasn't one of the ones who killed her parents. She wondered if he had killed someone. There was apart of her which was scared and another part of her was- sort of captivated or tempted. She didn't know what she felt.

Lena took a step forward. And another. Filling the space between them. He watched in confusion as she did so. She didn't take her eyes off his mark. Once she was close enough, she touched it. Draco went to pull away but he let her touch it. He found comfort in it.

Lena lightly stroked the snake and skull carved into his arm. Then, she looked up at him. He was already looking at her.

"I'm still here," Lena said.

"Are you not scared of me?" Draco asked as he pulled down his sleeve.

Lena shook her head.

"Why?" he asked.

"I know I should be. But I'm not" Lena said, now looking at Draco.

"You should be..." Draco said, almost a warning "...but you should also know that I won't ever hurt you. Ever"

Lena stayed looking into Draco's eyes as he looked in hers.

"Did you want it?" Lena asked.

"No," Draco said plainly "I didn't have a choice. Everyone thinks that I do and that I should love it. But I don't. I hate it. It's the worse thing that's ever happened to me"

Lena felt almost bad for him. She could tell that he didn't want it. She could tell that he hated it. And that's what made her trust him. She knew that he wouldn't hurt her or do anything harmful. Lena knew Draco was good, if he wasn't he wouldn't have shown her it in the first place and he sure as hell wouldn't be talking to her.

"I'm sorry," Lena said.

Draco smiled, almost laughing at the fact that someone felt sorry for him. Someone cares for him? No. He didn't believe that.

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