one

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chapter one
anger

"so youre telling me that , eren is planning to attack the marleyans and we have to go help him" you stared at your fellow comrades as you tried not to lose your cool.

"yes during the festival" armin said rereading the letter.

"for fucks sake" you said starting to get pissed off as you felt connie put his hand on your back to comfort you.

you put your head connies shoulder as you heard what the rest had to say.

"we have no other choice we have to go and help him" jean said running his hands through his hair.

"we can't afford to lose the founding titan or him" armin said standing up.

"i'm not disagreeing with any of you , i know we have to go but fuck why'd he have to go off by himself and drag us into this."

"we'll talk to him afterwards but our top priority is that we get eren back after his attack, him and zeke have a plan so we just have to follow that. we are leaving tomorrow morning make sure to be ready , goodnight guys" hange said as they walked out of the room.

"i'm beating erens ass when he get him back and none of you could stop me" you said staring at everyone before leaving and walking to the room you shared with mikasa and sasha.

"babeeee you've been ignoring me alll dayyyy" connie said following you to the room as he put his arm around your shoulder.

"im sorry my love , i've just been busy"

"doing what?"

"i was hanging out with the girls"

"are you okay?"

"yeah i'm just annoyed about the eren thing"

"y/n don't let it get to you" he said placing his forehead on yours.

"i miss how things used to be you know , when we had that vague sense of comfort and peace. things were good or maybe i just pretended they were good" you told him truthfully as felt a tear roll down your face.

"i know , i miss those times too. things were good. we started dating , we tried seafood for the first time , we were learning about new technology. we just have to have hope that it all going to work out once more." connie said wiping a tear away from your face.

"i love you , did you know that"

"yeah of course i would love me too"

you glared at him since this was something that he'd usually say when the two of you having a moment.

"i take it back" you told him as you were about to enter your room.

"wait no i love you more"

"i know you do" you said giving him a kiss.

"goodnight baby"

"night connie"

-

the day of the festival, the day everything was going to officially change.

you tried to calm yourself down , trying not to get so worked up but it was very evident to sasha that you were about to lose it.

"y/n do you need anything ?" sasha said looking at you as you were trying to keep your cool.

"a beer , maybe two" you said smiling at her.

"i think we have some back home so once we get home we'll drink some together"

"promise ?"

"i promise, now let's go we are about to leave" she said giving you a hand to get up.

"alright, we got this. totally yeah"

this wasn't your first mission but you certainly didn't want it to be your last.

"jean , connie come here" you said calling them over.

"yeah babe whats up?"

"the three of you better survive and live, if any of you die i'll kill you myself. i love you three and i can't afford to lose anyone anymore." you looked at them soft eyes.

they knew you weren't good with express your feelings and sometimes it would come off too harsh but they knew this was your way of telling them you care about them.

"we are all going to be good don't worry, everything thing is going to go as planned just have hope" jean reassured you.

"good, it better because this shit has already started to go down look at eren fighting the war hammer" you pointed at were they were.

"no one do anything yet wait for my signal" jean said to everyone.

you felt connie grab you arm and pulled you close.

"i love you so much , stay safe"

"i love you more" you said grabbing his face and giving him one last kiss before you parted ways.

"LETS GO NOW" jeans yelled out.

as you started to move you saw erens titan up in the sky , making you even more doubtful on the success of this mission.

"now or never mikasa" eren said which was mikasa signal to go help him.

mikasa is so powerful, it's so cool holy shit.

you threw thunder spears at the anti titan machine, and started shooting the marlayen soldiers.

you looked down at all the destruction and the dead civilians making you feel sick to your stomach yet there was nothing you could do about it since it already happened.

you ended up finding sasha as you helped her shot some of the soldiers. there was a little girl there as well and neither you nor sasha decided to shoot her.

"we've blocked this street , let's go" you heard a very familiar voice speak bringing you back some of the sanity you lost.

"connie have you been putting up the lights?" sasha asked him.

"yeah"

he put the lamp up and the three of you went to met up with the rest.

"jean , we won't be seeing any enemy reinforcements for a while"

"and the lights?" he asked.

"all in place" you told him.

"is the plan moving forward?" connie asked.

"for now it is. just as long as we disable the war hammer titan but there's still no telling what can happen next. if we want to know what happens after this battle is over we need to survive" jean said as you thought about what he said.

surviving is the only option.

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