bloop's boolshiets

‣ mind fuckery

weird thoughts & random shit u might've not known before. not mine, found these online.

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1. someone tells you to "break a leg"
before an audition, so you'll end up in the "cast".

2. a tv show pilot is called "pilot" because it's the first time it's on air.

3. pinterest is called pinterest because you pin your interest.

4. when someone tells you to "hold your horse," they mean you should be stable

5. sand is called sand because it's between sea and land (WTF OMG)

6. everyone you know sees you as a side character in their own life story

7. buying food is technically an energy bill

8. you have no idea what you've forgotten about

9. air is tree farts (this ones kinda mine)

10. they named it "high school," then told us not do so drugs

11. voldemort would have had more success by simply throwing the infant harry potter out the window

12. almond milk is white liquid from a nut. (lol)

13. vacuums suck whether they work or not.

14. humans are 3D printers for babies.

15. the muscular system is so much more terrifying than a skeleton. Imagine one suddenly walked into your room.

16. john cena could cosplay as a ghost very easily.

17. most of us probably hold several world records and just don't know about it.

18. plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume

19. lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, cops hope you're criminal, mechanics hope you have car trouble, but only a thief wishes prosperity for you.

20. the olympics should have a 'For Fun' section at the end of all the games so all the athletes can try different sports.

21. what if earth is like one of those uncontacted tribes in South America, like the whole galaxy knows we're here but they've agreed not to contact us until we figure it out for ourselves.

22. instead of colorizing photos, in 50 years we will be removing filters.

23. i've woken up over 10,000 times and i'm still not used to it

24. tobacco companies kill their best customers and condom companies kill their future customers.

25. somewhere in the world, there is somebody with your dream job that hates going to work everyday.

26. "DO NOT TOUCH" would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.

27. people who are goodlooking but have terrible personalities are basically real life click baits.

28. if the movie "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" took place in Australia, those kids would have died real fucking quick. (australia is fucking scary)

29. dogs understand several human words but we don't understand any dog barks. they may be smarter than us.

30. have you ever had a shower idea that dogs, who have been human companions for centuries, maybe bring us sticks because we used to need to build fires?

31. there should be a reality show where flat-earthers have to find the edge of the world

32. they put music from the 50s and 60s in medicine commercials to appeal to the older generation... meaning sometime in the future, Despacito will be playing on a commercial for laxatives . (LMAOO PLS NOT THAT SONG)

33. a different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.

34. your future self is talking shit about you.

35. at special occasions girls with curly hair straighten it and girls with straight hair curl it.

36. it's not fair that coffee stains your teeth brown, but milk doesn't stain them white.

37. it's weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe and daytime is only caused by a nearby, radiating ball of flame. (i like nights better than days anyways)

38. ducks can swim, fly and walk on land. They have access to all terrains. They are the ultimate animal.

39. only one sock goes missing because if both disappeared, you wouldn't notice.

40. given that tickling yourself does not work the same as someone else tickling you, we really lucked out with masturbation. (chile anyways so)

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