Barely Keeping up with the Avengers

Episode 3: Counseling

Hullo.
Yesterday I was bored, and somehow TFATWS trailer came as soon as I announced my boredom to my desk named Timmy.
Therefore I watched it.
And now I'm writing Sam and Bucky going to counseling.

Spoilers from TFATWS trailer are in here, so go watch it if you haven't.

Here I shall supply the good:

You're welcome 😌

Ok now time for chaos 😃

(also Nat is alive, Tony's alive, and Steve's not old you're welcome)
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Mini Cast:

Therapist/Miss You think I don't know: Played by yours truly (AKA me even though I'm a teenager, not in the movie :cries in no oxygen: and not qualified)

Bucky: Sebastian Stan

Sam: Anthony Mackie

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The camera (which is wobbly cause Scott's holding it, per Natasha's request) zooms into Bucky and Sam. Because Scott's not skilled at this art, the camera zooms to their rear ends

Scott: Oh well shit

Scott moves the camera a little bit back, showing the sign of the place:

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

jk this is counseling because something's wrong with you! 😃

Now because this a show made for the Avenger, they got access to le foncy security camera, so the rest is told by that

Bucky: You sure this is the right place?

Sam: No 

Bucky: You didn't use goggle (A/N: that's not a typo) maps to even check 

Sam: Be glad if we're not at the counselor. Both of us know full well we don't wanna be here, so if this is a secret entry to a club, don't question it

The lights abruptly turn on, revealing a chair, with a six foot tripod behind it. On the tripod sat a ~fancy~ camera (cries in broke). A Random voice you don't know yet know it turns her chair to face Sam and Bucky.

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): Well well well don't we have some idiots that probably got married while drunk and don't know how to do it. It's called a divorce my dudes. Go get your paper work.

Bucky: We're not......married?

Sam: What's the camera for?

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): It's dead and it's there cause I like to rewind all the spice in a day

Little did Sam and Bucky know, it was at 100% charge because I knew this was gonna be ~spicy~ and also I knew it was for the show because I shall know all 😌

Sam: You know we still aren't married—

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): You think you aren't.  Anywho sit down because yall are gonna be here for like 28 hours. So when and how did you guys meet

Sam: He was brainwashed and I was a good guy

Miss you think I don't know (Me): Yeah no one cares. What I care about is why are y'all here. In marriage counseling. Like I. Need. To. Know. What. Went. Down. Like what happened? When was the wedding? Why wasn't I invited? And why the heck are you guys here?

Bucky: We're people who hate each other, but we have to work with each other

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): Ahhhhh so someone set you up on this because you guys got married while you were drunk. Got it. 

Aggressively begins to write down nonsense that only Wattpad people can understand 👀

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): (mutters) This would be a good story...But anyway we're not here for that—

Sam: What is this place?

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): Marriage counseling...? What can you not read. There's like a sign right there in hot pink that says "FOR PEOPLE THAT CANT UNDERSTAND THEIR SPOUSE BECAUSE THEYRE DENSE AND THEY HAVE TO BRING THE OTHER TO SOLVE IT TOO CAUSE THATS HOW IT WORKS" Like did you not see the word spouse or—?

Bucky: Yeah ok bye 

Gets up to leave, but realizes cause im smort the doors wont open

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): Yeah man that's not happening. Now Mr. Barnes, why does Sam aggravate you?

Bucky: He's an idiot with no plan

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me)): Oh so you're the metal guy with a plan, and he's a bird with no plan

Sam and Bucky sit in complete silence cause they thought I was a teenager with no brain

BUT THINK AGAIN MY DUDES

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): You realize I work with the avengers? I mainly get Clint and Laura, Tony and Pepper, etc. I'm not a random weirdo on the street giving out floss...? But ok. I have an "exercise" that shall help you idiots that have no common sense. So move your chairs toward each other, and then close your eyes, and pretend you're punching the other guy

Weird silence for like five minutes occurs, until Bucky actually punches Sam in the face

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): Well obviously. Now pretend both of you are like 5 and you're at a carnival, and Sam wants a unicorn. Now Bucky, like you would with your other dates in the 1940s cause your old, what are you gonna do? Hide in a trash can, slap the man, or be a sensible person and give your special dude the unicorn

Bucky: How do you know about that?

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): Sir my name is "Miss you think I don't know" for a reason. Now both of you pretend Bucky is throwing some rings over bottles and Sam gets a unicorn

Awkward silence commences for approximately 90876543 seconds

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): See? That wasn't so hard

Bucky begins an intense staring contest with Sam. Talk about competitive

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): Yo my counseling is done. Sam got the unicorn, and you guys are happily married, what are you doing now?

I turn Karen for like -0.3746128 seconds, and snap in their face 😃

(oooo slant emojis fun)

Intense starting contest continues for another 462743890847365920 seconds

Miss you think I don't know (AKA Me): See this is why I hate my job, but love it at the same time. I'm so good at it and bad at it

please what did I make-

ok bye bye 👋 👋