The mind is a strange thing. The decision was already there; I don't know when I had actually made it, but now it just popped to the surface. I wanted to be Sandra, In fact, I had to be Sandra. I couldn't go back to being James, I would never be content. James was my past life. Sandra was my new life.
I knew that I was a much better person as Sandra and I liked myself better as Sandra. I felt happier, more alive.
I smiled to myself and thought that, no matter how hard they tried to be even-handed, I was damn sure that my family preferred me as Sandra. I couldn't blame them for that because, of course, I did too.
Dad broke the silence again, "Let me make a suggestion, why don't you do a sort of half and half. Go to school as James, but when you are at home, be James or Sandra, depending on how you feel."
He paused, "Sweetheart, you are facing a major life decision, and at such a young age too, you should give yourself more time to decide, particularly now that the pressure of the wedding is off."
I had to recognise the sense of what my father was saying. My mother was nodding, and I knew they were right. I should give myself more time to confirm that I was making the right choice.
"Let's do it," I said smiling at my parents.
I wanted to be fair; I wanted to give James an equal chance. I could manage going to school as James, but away from school I just couldn't feel comfortable in my male role. I tried, but I knew it was it no good; I just felt that I had to be Sandra.
Mum could see my struggle, "Love, stick it out to the end of term. We'll face it it all then."
I announced my formal decision to my family (even Pearl and Greg were there) at the end of term. It wasn't really news to them, but it was welcomed with delight.
"What pisses me off, is that I had to have a broken ankle so that Sandra could find out who she really was."
"Ha! (snort) you don't fool me for one minute, little bitch sister. You're just trying to make me feel guilty so that I'll lend you my new top."
"Will you?"
"Of course, that's what sisters do."
YOU ARE READING
Sandra
Short StoryI had no idea that I was a girl, until an unfortunate incident occurred - unfortunate for my sister, that is, but not for me, definitely not for me . . . and my sister's forgiven me.
