I Won't Give Up (Teacher/Student)

Chapter 1

I wrote this story when I was fourteen. I am just now, slowly, starting the editing process. Feedback is always welcome (I love your comments)! Thank you all for your support-- you are all so amazing. (Currently edited through Chapter 24- please refresh the story each time you read in case there are updates).

One

When I was a little girl, I used to pull the grass out from my lawn and expose the soil that was underneath. I'd take my hands and shove them into the dirt, loosen it, and let it fall through my fingers slowly. I was disrupting whatever was living there, coming into its home and leaving it unrecognizable. But now, when I think about it, maybe it needed a disruption. Maybe I was doing that home a favor.

"John, I'm sorry, I really am, but don't pretend like you didn't see this coming," my mother said, standing next to her suitcases. She wore a white sundress and her hair was straight with her front bangs slightly curving.

I sat on the top step of the porch and watched as her red suitcase dipped in and out our cracked walkway.

"I can't believe you're bailing on your husband and daughter. For Diem's sake, I won't yell for the entire neighborhood to hear."

My dad stood in front of my mother and ran a hand through his hair, and then rubbed the back of his neck. He turned toward my mother and sighed. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted her to stay. He was happier with her, even though all they did was fight, even though she was never here, even though she had been sleeping with her boss for the past year.

Apparently, they were in earth-shattering love. The kind of love that makes it easy to leave your other life behind. I say other because I don't think my mother was ever fully here. I don't think this was the life she ever wanted to live.

I once overheard the two of them arguing, as couples who shouldn't be together normally do. My mother had accused my father of robbing her of her life. Having me wasn't a new chapter that she had been eagerly waiting for. Having me had no meaning, or, I guess it meant that her life and any future she envisioned for herself were over.

Relief washed over me as I watched their final fight through to its end. Normally kids wanted their parents to stay together. With every divorce, it felt like the child was left with the unbelievable burden of choosing which parent to stand by. And if parents truly believed there was no favorite child, then it was totally unfair for them to make us choose a favorite parent.

But that wasn't really a problem for me. My dad was my favorite parent by a long shot. My mom wasn't really a parent at all, and this marriage desperately needed to end.

"Our marriage fell apart years ago, John. This isn't anything new! You're never home. Do you even remember the last time we had sex?"

Oh, I'm sure you've gotten enough from your boss, mom.

"I have to work, Rene! I know you don't know what that's like since you spent all your time screwing your boss." So much for not screaming for the entire neighborhood to hear.

"A woman has her needs, and you weren't fulfilling them." She twisted her suitcase around and began walking toward the cab. The driver was in the driver's seat with his windows rolled down. He kept looking forward, but there was no doubt that he could hear the entire exchange.

"You're a pathetic example of a woman," I muttered. I wanted my words to sting, but I doubted that she heard them at all. If anything, I was a constant buzz in her ear— easy to ignore until someone else pointed it out.

She turned around and ran towards me.

"Oh, Diem! Give your mother a hug. I almost forgot!" She stood at the bottom of the steps with her arms spread out. I stayed seated with my chin resting against my palm.