forever is an illusion ✓

am i insane?

[ please read till the end! tried my best
  to describe my anxiety here, hope
  you like it. ]

“head in my hands
  heart held hostage,
  how could i ever
  hurt myself?

  am i insane?
  am i insane?

  the words running
  through my mind
  are all blurred lines.

  the blood stains
  the pages of the book,
  now all i can see
  are deep, dark hues.

  am i insane?
  am i insane?

  big breaths burn
  my lungs,
  beats of my heart
  break apart.

  the world collapses
  as the guilt rises
  it's all my fault,
  it's all my fault.

  am i insane?
  am i insane?

  incoherent voices
  inch into my brain,
  if i were normal
  i'd be one of them.

  whimsical whispers
  wreck my head
  when i walk away,
  it starts again.

  am i insane?
  am i insane?

  feelings fall apart,
  fake faces tear
  my heart,
  five senses falter
  and even
  four seconds later
  nothing feels better.

  echoes ring through
  my head
  but i feel nothing instead.

  am i insane?
  am i insane?

  i learnt love,
  loss, lust and
  law,
  but love won't take away
  the pain i saw.

  truth is,
  tales tell twisted truths-

  you won't survive
  a minute in this hell
  if you buy the lies
  they sell.

  sooner or later
  you will realize -
  it never gets better.

  if you stay sane,
  no matter how loud
  you shout;
  you won't be heard

  because insanity
  is the only way out.”