"as i lay on the
hard floor,
hearing my mother
snore;
i envy her deeply.i envy how
she can sleep in peace,
after all the
nightmares she's
given me.i get up and
walk in the hallway,
seeing the man
deep asleep
on the floor
the one who is
her husband,
but they never
said they love
each other,
i envy him deeply.i envy how
he is void of
emotion,
how he chooses
everything
but us,
how he manages
to break our
hearts every
single time.i see the
man sleeping
on the bed,
the one who
claims to
care for his son,
but he is the
reason
his granddaughter
claims to have
no family,
i envy him deeply.i envy how he
wakes up
everyday
without the guilt,
without
acknowledging the
pain he'd caused
us.i sit on the
balcony
and look at
the house
of the boy
next door and
imagine him
laughing with his
friends late at night,
i envy him deeply.i envy how
he smiles at me
everyday,
a smile that is
never returned by me.
i turn my head
to the apartment of
the old couple
in front of me
and think of them
singing old songs,
i envy them deeply.i envy how
they look into
each others eyes,
as if there's
no one else in
this world but them.i rub my eyes
and see the sun,
shining ever
so brightly,
i envy it deeply.i envy how
it doesn't need
anyone else to
do his job
and i envy how
it does it daily.i walk towards
the bus stop
with the bag full
of books
and i see the
girl who was once
my best friend,
i envy her deeply.i envy how
she has no shame
looking at him the
way he looks at me.i shake my head
and walk into the bus
and i see her,
i envy her deeply.i envy how
she ignores the
wolf whistles and
the everlasting stares,
i envy how every strand
of her hair seems
to be exactly right.i sit next to the window,
as the bus stops
for a second and
my best friend
sits next to me,
i envy her deeply.i envy how
perfect her life is,
how she has a note
in her lunchbox that
says 'we love you'
everyday.i walk in the
classroom into my
assigned seat,
next to the boy
i hate with a passion,
i envy him deeply.i envy how
he says he loves me
everyday
when i can't even
love myself.i pretend to
ignore him and
my eyes wander to
the boy i once used
to know,
i envy him deeply.i envy how
he still looks at me
the same way
he used to when
he said he
loved me too.i smile at
the new girl,
who looks so
out of place,
i envy her deeply.i envy how
she wasn't here
earlier,
how everyone
doesn't know her.i go upstairs
to eat lunch with
my 'friends'
as my eyes take
in the senior
in front of me,
i envy him deeply.i envy how
he doesn't care
about the stares
or the fact
that he
writes poetry too,
just the one
which isn't exactly true.the day passes
and i see everyone
walk by,
i envy them deeply.i envy how
they aren't me,
that they get to
have happy days
and go meet
people i haven't
known yet."-
[ all works in this book are original unless specified and the original poems are copyrighted by me. i do not accept translations or plagiarism, kindly let me know if you see my work plagiarized somewhere.- angel.]
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forever is an illusion ✓
Poetryhighest ranking : #3 in poetry. original collection of poetry. book 1.