5. Then let go!

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A/N Chapter contains brief amount of smut (later on)

11th September 2018

Dearest Harry,

Although I can't say I ever hoped to receive a letter like your last, I am glad you have had the courage to write it. I am not surprised and you are horribly right, neither of us have been happy for so long. I know I have, for some time, been running away, using my job to keep me from facing the truth and, when home, pretending to live the image of a perfect happy and loving family. We have, for so long, appeared the ultimate power couple, especially since my journalism has recently gone from strength to strength. I cannot express my gratitude enough that you have let me pursue my career, I know some men wouldn't, but you have always been better than most. No doubt some will say it has been selfish of me, that it has cost me my family, but I have needed to do this. I would have spiralled into oblivion and depression long ago. I felt I had lost so much of my own self-identity for the sake of being a wife and mother. Until recently, despite my attempts, I have always been 'Harry Potter's wife' and you know that doesn't suit my temperament.

Maybe my job has pulled me away from you but I know there are other reasons too. I know things changed after Prague but you have tried to push your happiness away for the sake of me and then the children. I want to set you free as much as myself, so perhaps it is not a shock to say that I think we should get divorced. It seems so blunt and final but I think we have both wanted this for a while but were too afraid to be the ones to disappoint mum. Telling her seems to be the worst part, worse than telling the kids, but I'm sure you are aware of that. Maybe she is the reason why we have both taken so long to finally reach this point with her awful pride in the family history reeled out at every family get together. Perhaps being a disappointment is the wrong way to look at this. We have done each other good along the way, kept each other going in some of the darkest moments of our lives. There are no regrets but it is time to embark on our next adventures separately.

I suppose, already, I feel lighter. I don't want this to be filled with animosity or bitter fights and I ask nothing from you, though the offer of the cottage is appreciated. You know I have fiercely prided myself on my independence and my ability to earn my own income. Perhaps I have always known, deep down, that this day would come. Admittedly, your timing is impeccable, I was offered the permanent position of Overseas Correspondent before I left; a post that is highly sought after and I would be foolish to turn down. The paper gave me until after the Six Nations to consider and accept or decline. This certainly makes accepting the position a lot easier though I shall miss the kids terribly. Hopefully I can arrange my annual leave around the school holidays, depending on tournaments. Perhaps it won't be too painful to spend Christmas together at the Burrow, if you don't have other plans by then. It should work so long as mum doesn't try to 'fix things'... maybe it's not such a good idea. We'll see.

We can discuss divorce proceedings when I return to England but only once we have talked to the kids. In light of the job offer, it makes sense that they live with you for the foreseeable future. I am certain they will be happy with that option; you have always been a better, more balanced parent and far more on hand, especially in these latter years as I have pursued my career. Plus Lilly has told me about Misty and if the cat stays with you, I'm guessing they won't want to be separated.

There is no need to come out here, I think we both understand each other and I don't want to prolong the agony for either of us either.

I hope, now, you can re-capture something of life again, you haven't been the same since Prague. One day, you'll tell me.

With love and so much fondness, Gin x

***

Harry couldn't deny the relief he felt. It had felt like he'd been walking on broken glass for so long and now it was as Gin said, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time in years, he felt himself relax. He knew this was only the beginning of a long journey before things were finally settled but he suddenly felt freer, like he could smile.

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