HER

Sixteen: dinosaur onesie

Analia

As we make our way back to my house, I gather my courage to ask Lexie a question, my cheeks flushing with a hint of embarrassment. "You're a lesbian, right?"

Lexie chuckles, finding my question amusing. "Yes, I'm a lesbian."

Nervously toying with my bracelets, I hesitate, unsure of how she will respond to my questions. Despite the amazing time we had at the aquarium, the hurtful comments from the lady in line still linger in my mind.

Reaching over the console, Lexie gently squeezes my thigh. "Ana, you don't have to be nervous or afraid to ask me questions. I'm here to answer them for you."

"Well, if you're a lesbian, what does that make me?"

She shrugs, glancing at me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, am I gay?"

"Do you think you're gay?"

I contemplate for a moment. "I don't know. I think I still like guys." Does that mean I'm bisexual?

"You might be bisexual, but then again, you might not be. How you identify is a personal choice. You don't have to label yourself if you don't want to."

The idea of questioning my sexuality is new to me, but it has become a persistent thought in my mind.

As we pull into my driveway, Lexie leans in and gives me a light kiss on the lips. "With time, you'll figure it out. Don't stress yourself out about it. You like who you like, and I happen to be a girl. It's okay to not have all the answers right away."

I nod, taking a deep breath. Her words bring some comfort, but only a little. However, I still wonder how I'll explain my identity to others. "Okay, just one more question. When did you know you were gay?"

"I've always known. Being with women has always felt right to me."

"You've never been with a guy?"

Lexie lets out a pained laugh. "In middle school, there was this boy who liked me. Out of curiosity, I let him kiss me. Let's just say he was the first and only boy I ever kissed."

"You don't find guys attractive?"

"Well, yes and no. It's not that I think all men are ugly, I can acknowledge when a guy is good looking. It's just that I'm not personally attracted to or interested in being with one."

That makes sense, but I don't think that's who I am. I'm still unsure about my exact identity, but I feel confident that I will know one day.

Before heading inside, I turn to Lexie. "Okay, I lied. This really is my last question. Would you like a tour of my room?"

Lexie

As we approach the house, the blinds move and a shock of curly brown hair appears in the window. It must be Analia's younger brother, Quincy. Although we've never met, she talks about him all the time.

Analia unlocks the door, and Quincy greets us standing on the other side, wearing a green dinosaur onesie. "Ana! You look pretty," he exclaims, embracing her before she has a chance to close the door.

She shuts the door and removes her heels. "Thanks, Q. Did you have dinner?" I follow her and take off my shoes, placing them neatly on the shoe rack.

"Yea, the neighbors brought us a lasagna," Quincy points to a half-empty pan of lasagna on the kitchen counter. "Dad's in his study," he says, turning his attention to me. "Are you Lexie?"

I beam, and Analia's face flushes scarlet. Apparently, she talks about me to him too. "The one and only. I adore your onesie."

Quincy growls, pretending to be a dinosaur. "Do you like to play Minecraft?"

I don't play Minecraft. I love video games, but I haven't played Minecraft since I was his age. But I lie and tell him yes.

"You're lying, girls don't play video games," he giggles earnestly.

I gasp, pretending to be outraged. "Girls do play video games. What do you think we do? Shop all day?" Quincy nods, and I just chuckle and shake my head.

Analia laughs, bending down to his level. "I think it's past your bedtime. Come on, let's get ready for bed."

Quincy groans but takes her hand and proceeds upstairs. "I'm not even tired," I hear him groan.

In the meantime, I take a glance around the living room. Their home smells like freshly laundered linens and vanilla. It's far cozier than my place.

Family pictures are scattered everywhere, dating back years. I grin while looking at a photo of Analia as a toddler, held by a woman who must be her mother. I wonder what her mother would think of me. I wonder what it must be like to have a good relationship with your parents.

"The dinosaur is sound asleep," Analia says, sneaking up on me and causing me to jump. "Now for that room tour." She turns on the light and closes the door after we reach her room.

Her room is exactly as I imagined. Pink sheets, pastel pink walls, and a pink furry bean bag that dominate the space. Her bed is stacked with pink pillows- some in heart or butterfly shapes. Polaroids of her family and friends hang from string lights across the room.

She gracefully undresses, revealing the sky blue lingerie set beneath her sundress. When she speaks, her voice is soft like a feather, "I'm all yours now."