Nobody commits a suicide without a sad reason
No one !!!
So if you're depressed , go get help
Now , I'm depressed
And i've been depressed for 6 years
6 Fuck*ng years !
And it hearts that most depressed people commit suicide
I don't have the courage to tell other people about it
Neither my parents
But all i know is " i should get help "
It's hard ... people will tell you " a 14 years old girl with depression... haha... what's this ? She dispatch even saw the world... neither went into a relationship or got heartbroken..."
Well i wanted to tell those people
" being depressed doesn't need a known excuse... being depressed is being on bad terms with yourself... it simply starts from a little think and you don't feel it at all... but it gets bigger... and bigger... and you can't control it anymore.."
I someday told my mother that i am sad when she asked why i was crying
And she just said " why are you even sad? You shouldn't be sad! You have everything ! A big house, a nice family , and you study well..! What's there to be sad about ?"
And it hurts me the most that i couldn't answer
Because i don't know too why i'm sad
I have many things all people want
But i keep on saying that it's not enough and i don't deserve it
I hate myself so much
And when i needed support, no one was there for me
So i kept it a secret for myself
But it grows ... and grows ... and grows
Until i can't take it anymore
And sometimes i think of killing myself
And i tried many times
But something was telling me " NO !"
And i don't know what it is
I hope someone tells me that i'm enough
I'm worth it
I'm beautiful
I have a nice body and a nice face
That I'm I'm loved
That there's someone who cares about me
But all i get is just fake friends
Fake smiles
Fake caring
And when you need someone to talk to
No one is ready to help
I's rather be alone than pretending to love everyone
{ If you want to be strong, learn how to enjoy being alone }
All people say it will pass
But no one understands
And you feel like you don't belong to this world
And you live in hell
Well that's what i'm feeling right now
And you may not believe me or say I'm overreacting
But i am enough broken that i've spent hours crying while writing this short story
I am deeply depressed
But i don't want to get help
I feel like i don't deserve to be happy
So every time i laugh on something or feel a little happy, i reming myself that i should be sad
And my brain now always tells me that
Now it doesn't hurt because i got used to it
Now i'm sure of something
I should DIE !
