Euphoria || Kylo Ren

1. Memories

"Fuck." You grumbled as you brought your now bleeding finger to your mouth, sucking away the flowing blood. The mix of dirt and fresh blood flooded your mouth, but it no longer bothered you, not after years of being stuck on this forgotten sand planet, the never-ending filth that clung to your skin a permanent part of you now. A second skin.

When you first arrived on Jakku, you hated it. You hated everything about it. From the hot climate to the slimy characters. It wasn't a welcoming climate, nor were the people the welcoming kind.

But now it was your home. The only home you had ever known. And none of the small things mattered to you anymore.

You didn't have much, or rather any memory at all of the life you had before you arrived on Jakku. You didn't even know your true age, nor did you know your own name. Not even a blur of the past existed for you.

You only remembered waking up in the middle of the desert planet, surrounded by nothing and no one. Nothing in sight. Nothing but mountains of sand, the wind blowing profoundly.

You remember how the feeling of abandonment and rejection flooded your senses as you glanced around. You remembered how tears flowed freely as you realized your predicament. You were alone with no one to help, no one to guide you or take care of you.

No one who cared.

You were lost. No memory of who you were. No memory of how you got where you were. Tears streamed down your face as you stood up, your muscles aching as you began the long trek in a random direction, silently hoping that you would find someone, something, anything to help you. All you needed was an explanation, a direction. All you needed was some kind of understanding as to where you were, who you were.

Even though you didn't get every answer you so desired, you found enough to create a new life for yourself.

You remembered stumbling into a trading post, eyes scanning the crowd for any sort of reaction. But it appeared that all the life forms didn't care, weren't bothered by your presence. The intense feeling of rejection only growing. But you were strong, and you weren't going to give into that feeling immediately, no matter how strong it pulled at your heartstrings to do so.

So you decided to approach anyone, everyone, until you got at least a sliver of what you were looking for, what you needed.

You walked up to the first person, a young female Togruta. She tilted her head up to look at you, her head tails barely moving as she did. You noticed that they were covered in dirt, as her blank eyes barely focusing on you. You tried to explain your situation, asking for help, but she ignored you, still showing no emotion as she went back to whatever she was busy with before you appeared.

You attempted with a few others, but it didn't work. Nothing was working. The inevitable feeling of hopelessness creeping back in.

You collapsed against the edge of the post, tears threatening to appear once again. Your breathing was fast and shallow as your hands dug into the sand. Your eyes fell shut as panic finally set in.

This couldn't be happening. None of this was happening. It was just a fever dream. You would wake up soon, you would remember who you were. It was all just a terrible dream. None of it was real. It was all a dream. It had to be. It needed to be.

But it was real. It was the reality you were now stuck in, grounded in.

You were lost. No hope. No light. Only darkness consuming you.

But then there was a soft voice.

Your eyes shot open, taking in the humanoid in front of you. He was short, with an orange hue to his wrinkled skin. He was much smaller than you, most likely half your height, but he seemed kind and like he had lived his entire life here. Possibly the person who would be of great help to you.