Deep End [Minsung]

1. Beneath

Jisung POV

The smell of the ocean fills my nostrils. The waves lightly sway the boat side to side. I can practically taste the sea on my tongue as the wind brushes past me. Looking over the edge, I stare into the deep grey abyss.
Why did I agree to this?
I told Chan hyung that I'm scared of the ocean, yet he still somehow managed to convince me. Just the thought of what could potentially be lurking beneath me makes my skin crawl with anxiety. Any creature could spring up from the depths and drag me under. Now would be a great time for a little smoke. But I remember I ran out last night.

"Ugh!" He really had to choose boating didn't he? "Hyung! I don't wanna be here! You and Binnie hyung should just go without me." I'm on the boat and can already feel myself getting sick. "Why? You said that we'd do this together. Besides I only have the boat for a couple more days. Dad agreed that I could take it if we all went together." Chan hyung says passing me a life jacket.

"Well I said that while I was in the safety of my own home. You know? Not standing in a heavy ass boat that could sink at any moment! Like how the hell do these things float anyways?!" I can feel my palms sweat. "Jisung you'll be fine. Also, it's what boats do... they float—

"You know I can't swim. What if I fall over and drown?! What if something eats me?!" Changbin hyung finally appears wearing what looks like three pounds of sun block. "You know, the squirrel is right. —"

"Squirrel?" Excuse me?

"Sharks attack things that are helpless and weak. If he falls in, he's done for. Shark bait." Changbin mocks me.
"You're literally not helping. Listen Jisung, you have a life jacket. Okay?" Channie hyung tries to reassure me and I do find myself easing up a little. "Well I guess I'll be okay. But! I'm not getting anywhere near the edge. I'm small. The wind could knock me over." I say knowing it's the truth.

"Yeah we know. You look like a little boy who's going through their goth phase. No really, why are you wearing long sleeves in this weather?" Changbin pulls out a cigarette. "First of all bitch, I'm 25 and I just happen to like the color black. Second of all, I don't expect you to have any sense of fashion." I check out his attire. "You look like a damn middle aged pedo. And Jesus! Did you use the whole bottle of sunscreen?" I snatch the bottle from his bag. Changbin hyung just laughs at me and takes a puff of his cigarette.

"Changbin. This is your third one in the last two hours. You really need to stop smoking so much." Chan hyung says loading up our equipment. "Why don't you tell our Jisungie here to stop. He's almost as bad as me." Why bring me into this. "Look hoe, I only smoke twice a day. You smoke twice every other second. So don't even come at me with that. You're gonna die from it." Hmph

"We all have to die from something. The least we can do is choose how and what kills us." Binnie hyung takes a rather long drag from his cancer stick. "Hm. I guess you're right. I'd gladly let cheesecake be the death of me." Chan and Changbin just look at me amused.

"If that's what you really want then so be it. But, it doesn't sound very practical or realistic." Changbin hyung raises his eyebrow in my direction. "Oh okay. How about this? I could dive head first into the watery pit of death and die that way. Hm? Realistic and totally practical." I sneer with sarcasm.

"Anyway," Chan hyung looks at me slightly afraid. "we should get going. I wanna beat the rain. I'm not catching another cold." Now that he mentions it, I get sick all over again. "Okay I'm gonna head into the cabin. I don't wanna be out here while the boat is moving." Changbin scoffs. "Pussy." I give him the middle finger and hastily make my way inside.

I scan the inside of the cabin and notice that its been kept in nice condition. The wooden interior almost makes me forget that I'm on a boat. It feels more like the inside of a cozy house in the woods, rather than a floating death trap in the middle of the ocean. I don't know where my fear of the ocean came from. But for as long as I can remember, I've always avoided it. It's something that can be admired from far away. What reason would I have to actually get in?