Broken

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Lilac avoided me for the next week. I can't say I sought her out either. I was too conflicted, confused and mad and sad. Smad.

Jack noticed that we weren't even trail riding together. "You have to keep up your riding education if you ever want to get on the track," he told me. He was busy with his horses, but when he found the time he'd take me into the indoor arena they used to break the horses and teach me on Shamrock, Holiday Break, or one of the babies, unintroduced to the track. On the days he couldn't teach me, Ned took me under his wing and we would trail ride, instructing me further. I learned a lot, but it wasn't Lilac.

Willifred seemed determined to keep me busy as well. I was awake at four every morning, watching my charges run, cooling them down and warning them up and grooming them and saddling them. Jack drove me to school afterwards, sometimes, and Mom would pick me up and take me when he couldn't. Having my own truck would've been convenient though.

I fell into the schedule pretty quickly, and even Mom came to enjoy seeing the horses. So when I woke up on Friday, I was surprised to see that the lighting in my room was off. It was much later than four in the morning- sunlight trickled lazily through the curtains hanging on my window. It reflected annoyingly off of a shot of Shamrock crossing the finish line, framed and hung proudly over my desk. I wondered why Mom hadn't woken me up when I slept through the alarms.

The phone rang.

I stared at it as it buzzed, shuddering across my desk, then reaching the end of the charger. It rattled off in a different direction, taking the plunge over the desk.

Catching it, I hit the "accept call" button. "Good morning! Hello! Um-"

"Good morning, Anna." Came from the other side of the country. My breath caught. I recognized that voice.

"Mrs. Halestrom... it's been so long."

"Too long. I'm so sorry for not calling you earlier, we've been so busy. How are you? Do you like Kentucky?"

"It's different... but I think the change was good. Cold, though."

Mrs. Halestrom laughed. "Nothing like our sunny California! School's good?"

"It's school." I replied vaguely, wishing that I had a landline so I could grip the curly phone wire. Instead, my knuckles turned white around the desk chair. A sick feeling was overcoming me.

"Anything interesting?"

"I'm working at a racehorse stable."

Pause of surprise. Then:

"Do tell."

So I did. I told her about the racehorses, about riding Shamrock and my first fall, about Bloodless Day and the Withers and My Girl. I skimmed over Lilac and Jack, describing their horses but not really them. When I stopped to breathe, she said, "I never pegged you as the horse crazy type. But I'm glad you're keeping busy."

"Have you been?"

Another pause. I felt her pain radiating through the phone, a shared life being remembered without words.

"Yes. I have been. Peter and I are going to the graveyard today, to wish Her a happy birthday. And to tell Her some exciting news..." Conflicted happiness registered in her voice as I heard something clatter on the other end of the line. My heart clenched. "She's going to have a sister."

What! In my surprise, I wasn't sure if I'd spoken or not. I glanced at my alarm clock- 9:30. I was starting to realize why Mom hadn't woken me up. Maybe it was 447 days since Her death, but Her birthday was today. It should've been something to celebrate. I should've been planning a surprise party. Her mother should've been wrapping presents. Instead she was going to the cemetery. And I was going to cry.

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