Bloodless Day

The Worst Thing

A first day of school is the worst thing.
Note that I didn't say THE first day of school. Because there's only one THE. After that, if you have a first day of school, it's because your parents suck and decided to move to The Middle of Nowhere, Hicksville, USA.
Notice how the The is capitalized. Because this is the ultimate The Middle of Nowhere. There is no middle of nowhere more middle of nowhere than this middle of nowhere.
Actually, I lied. A first day of school isn't the worst thing.
The Holocaust is The Worst Thing. The abuse the Native Americans endured was The Worst Thing. Harry Potter's death was The Worst Thing for about five pages. The person who conceptualized the Bachelor is The Worst Thing.
Losing your best friend is The Worst Thing.
Being the reason you lost her is The Worst Thing Of All.

~~~~~

Mom was screaming at me to wake up, and In/Humanity screamed back, inaudible for all but me, but I had already been awake. Been so for hours. Thirty-eight and a half, to be exact.
"Coming!" I hollered, to appease her, and cast off the earbuds and left them lying in my bed, tinny music spilling from it as I approached my closet suspiciously. From here, the music didn't sound good. Scratch that. It didn't sound good when the earbuds were closer.
My closet was pretty dark. Not due to poor lighting, but lack of it. I'd read somewhere that the color black was the absence of light, that it sucked in light. In that case, my closet was negative light, because after She died, I'd gone into official mourning and would not cease until She appeared and told me that God had accepted Her into Heaven and it was okay, or Hades had punished Her with making Her push a rock up a hill all day, like that one guy did. Though in that case, She'd never make Her appearance.
I hope She carved her initials into the rock, along with Her latest crush's. Love should not be a mortal thing.
So anyways, I entered day 422 of mourning and shouldered a jacket to fend off the cold before rushing downstairs, leaving the mice I'd heard scritching under my bed at two in the morning to enjoy In/Humanity.
Mom didn't sigh when she saw me. Didn't say, "let's go buy a yellow shirt" or "how about we go see a concert? Preferably Bruno Mars? Something happy?" I hadn't liked Bruno Mars even Before, but now he was doubly annoying. She didn't cast me a hopeful look, or a sad one, because she'd realized that the old Anna was gone and that I was the one she had left. It made her sad, I think, but like any proper mother, she still loved me.
She tossed me the keys. "Here. You can drive on our way to school. Get used to the roads around here."
Driving helped. Somewhat. I couldn't think about The Worst Thing Of All when I drove, because She'd been thinking when It happened. Someone once asked me how I could bear to drive after It. I asked how they could bear to eat anymore after their Uncle Vinny had choked to death at a buffet.
I think that someone had been my second cousin or something. They'd never talked to me again. I'd never liked them anyways, but I did like Uncle Vinny. He would've liked my retort, though, so I don't feel guilty for it.
"Okay." I squared my shoulders. "School. January. Let's go."
I didn't have breakfast before we left, because I'd been eating breakfast in the car with her when It happened. I'd have a large lunch later, which Mom pressed into my hand as we stepped into the garage. Even through the walls and aluminum door, I could feel the sharp bite of cold, reaching for the prize in the center of the garage, the car.
We got in.
I drove to school.
Afterwards, Mom drove to work.
The school wasn't a campus, comprised of a few buildings like most schools were. This was a singular building, two stories high and sprawling across the ground, curiously long and awkward. A few students were milling about, but as it was still early January, most were probably inside. I'd exited the car right outside the front door, so it was only a few steps before I was inside, instantly warmer. The jacket was shrugged off, slung over my backpack.
Cardstock and bulletin boards boasted student work, banners of dances yet to pass fluttering weakly. The front door had led me into the cafeteria, crowded with throngs of people. Near me were a few long, low tables, much like the building. Boys grouped at one, girls at another, and the rest mixed. I approached the boys; some had laptop bags with them and from experience I knew those tended to be the studious ones.
"Excuse me," I said, leaning over one. An 'um' bubbled in my throat, but I refused to show a lack of confidence as one of the boys, a dark-haired, dark-eyed, dark-skinned specimen looked up at me. "Could you point me towards the guidance office?"
"New here? He flashed me a grin. "It's that way." Jerking a thumb over his shoulder, he resumed conversation with his friends. I retreated.