Damn you fuckup. I fucked up. I really fucked up. Fucked it all up. For what? Survival? Pathetic.
But it's okay now. It still hurts. I still stare at my ceiling sometimes. But it's okay. Life happens.
You survived.
She cried. She laughed. She blamed herself. She blamed her past actions. She felt betrayed. She felt lied to. She felt lost.
If only she showed more emotions. If only she had been more open. If only she didn't let the thoughts get to her. If only she didn't let her depression consume her. If only she didn't let her anxiety hold her. If only she knew how to grieve. If only she forced her walls down to dust. If only she wanted less. If only she let the universe work it's magic. If only this. If only that.
If only the thoughts would stop remindng her. For she knows well.
She loves him. She always will . After all she is the dark abyss and he was her star. She knows (or at least hopes) he'll always remember her. After all she was a few of his firsts. First relationship. First kiss. She thinks saying first love would be pushing it.
They aren't really friends anymore. To her they feel like strangers passing by with hopes of life, but who knows cause they're strangers after all? She wants answers. She'll never get them.
Although she regrets nothing. The thoughts want to but she can't. It simply goes against her foundations of life.
She was hurt. But life, life happens. There's hope. She's starting to feel the love of being alive again. It's been awhile.
She will prevail. She has too.
She's over it. She's moved on, but not forgotten. There's a cute boy in her art class. The odds are not in her favor but she can dream.
And so she does. She dreams big.
satanae.puella/ demon_blop©️
YOU ARE READING
The inner workings of a "sick girl"
PoetryThis is just a compilation of things I write that aren't related to any of my other books. This is just a way for me to keep track and express my thoughts, ideas and, emotions. This is pretty much just a journal for me (ˊ˘ˋ*) ⚠POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNI...
