I See Them

Predictably Blindsided

As a kid, I disliked DC, but now that I'm older and more open minded, I started looking into DC more. And let me tell you, the comics are freaking awesome! If not a little dark in some places. The OG Teen Titans cartoons are super radical, and some of the newer movies are pretty good. And of course, the fanfiction is phenomenal;) I have yet to watch the Young Justice cartoons or any other animated series, but I can't wait to do so!

Sorry for my nerd rant. But I needed to get that out. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Song for this chapter is The Jungle by Zayde Wolf
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Tony didn't have the words to accurately describe how he felt.

Sorrowful, numb, disheartened, somber, remorseful. No adjective could be used to accurately describe the extreme guilt that hovered over him like a black cloud, clinging to his person with no intention of releasing him anytime soon.

After their fight, Tony retreated to his lab, unable to face his team and what he had done. Both Steve and Rhodey tried talking to him, tried to convince him that everything would be okay. That Peter would forgive him like he'd done so many times before.

Because Peter always forgave Tony. Always.

No matter what Tony said or did, Peter never complained, just went along with whatever was going on, and tried his best to help in any way possible. Like all of the times Tony fell behind on SI paperwork and had to cancel lab days - something he knew Peter thoroughly enjoyed. Instead of getting angry, the kid would nod and say, "that's okay, Mr. Stark. Would you like some help?" And the kid would stay up with Tony into the wee hours of the morning, on a school night, helping Tony get caught up.

No matter how many times Tony inconvenienced Peter or forced him into an uncomfortable situation, the teen would shove aside his feelings and put on a brave face, unwilling to let his mentor down. Press events and galas were two things Peter despised - another thing the two heroes had in common - yet he never griped whenever Tony dragged him along to one of the lengthy events. Events that were always filled with sensory-deprecating lights, sounds, and smells that undoubtedly hurt Peter's enhanced senses. Peter was just his polite, well-behaved self every time.

No matter how much Tony disappointed him, dropping so far under the kid's expectations it would be considered comical, Peter never lost faith in the man. Peter never once questioned Tony or his authority as an Avenger or otherwise. He just followed Tony like a lost puppy, eager to learn anything and everything he could, all while looking at Tony as if he'd hung the stars above. Even after Tony harshly criticized him as Spider-Man and brutally lectured him as a civilian. Peter just took it without a word of protest.

There was no mystery as to why Peter endured their mentor-mentee relationship. It wasn't because Tony was a billionaire, an Avenger, and a world-famous inventor. Peter's tolerance of him came from something much stronger than a need for fame or greed.

Peter stuck by him because he saw Tony as his father and would do anything for him.

He loved Tony.

A massive, crushing weight sat heavy in his chest, pressing down on his lungs and squeezing the air from inside him. I don't deserve him. His hands trembled. They wouldn't stop shaking no matter how hard he tried to steady them, to steady himself. He collapsed onto the nearest workbench knowing his legs would give out any second. The immense weight of his guilt was so debilitating he could barely breathe, let alone keep himself upright.

It was as if his lungs just decided to stop working, forcing a choked gasp past his chapped lips. One of his hands held his throat while the other sat firmly against his chest right above his rapidly beating heart. Panic attack, he thought absentmindedly. Each breath physically hurt, and Tony quickly delved into the breathing techniques his therapist taught him decades ago. Slowly, he began to calm down and gain control of his body. Yet, his self-loathing and anguish remained.