broken.| Miles Hollingsworth

original 25

"1,2,3,4,5!" Zoe's head comes out for Miles' hamper and she looks as though she's just come back from war. "That is the worst thing I've ever had to do!" "It was 5 seconds, it's not like you had to breath!" "The fumes find their way into your nose!" We all laugh as Zoe, Winston, Miles and I sit on his bed playing a good old game of truth or dare. "Well now I get to get you back Miles Hollingsworth. Truth or dare." Miles glances at me as I lean more into his side as his arm was around my shoulders. "Truth, why not." "Alright, let's get right to it. How many people have you been with?" I could tell Miles could tell how stift I went, he tightened his arm around me as a way of reassurance however it didn't help much. "Like actually?" "Come on, we know the numbers high!" Winston jokes as Miles wonders if he should be serious or not. "Truth? It's 5." "New additions okay. Let's guess, Tristan is one and Esme-" "It's actually your little girlfriend over there." Miles points Zoe out and I look at both of them shocked. "When did that happen." "Last summer, we don't talk about it." Miles jokes. "Hey at least we used protection-" At the comment I suddenly choke on my own breath, Miles' arm falls as I lean forward trying to compose myself. Once I did, I sat back, moving the smallest bit away from Miles. "Wait so you and Tristan never did it?" "No they did." Zoe comments, and Winston looks at us confused. "You guys wanted the truth lets move on, we all know Winston's is 0" "Hey hey some of us aren't just looking to fuck around, some of us are looking to fall in love." He looks at Zoe and the attention is brought back to me as I gag. "Wait, it should be 6." Winston starts looking at us again. "What do you mean?" Zoe looks to her boyfriend as his eyes fall back to me. "Kala should be 6." Miles' mouth opens like he prepared to speak but closes it when he looks at me, Zoe's mouth falls open and Winston looks guilty as the thought moves throughout their brains. "This game is childish." I state quickly standing from the bed, grabbing my backpack as I make my way from the room. "Kala, where are you going?" Miles calls from his position on the bed. "Home!"

"No, I don't get why Kala is mad at me." Miles cuts Winston off again as he begins explaining how to do the geometry. Winston sighs, "She obviously is uncomfortable with your number and the fact that Zoe and I brought her up." "So what she's my girlfriend, everyone thinks we're having sex." "But you're not." Miles sighs, leaning in closer to Winston, not wanting people to overhear. "Why is it such a big deal? Because I've had a little sex?" "It's a big deal to some people especially if they've gone through what she has." Miles' jaw dropped, "How did you know that?" Winston chuckled at his friend. "She told me, Kala and I talk more than you, Miles." Miles shifted in his seat, a little uncomfortable that Kala and Winston are apparently so close. "Well are you uncomfortable that Zoe is more experienced than you?" Winston shrugged, "A little, but it's different with guys and girls plus with what I mentioned, it's kind of totally different." Miles scoffed at his friend. "I don't know why people make it so complicated if you wanna do it just nut up and do it-" "See this is why Kala is mad, it's like you don't care. You make it seem like if you haven't had sex you're some type of loser." "So we have sex, there problem fixed." Winston sighed, closing his eyes as disappointment raydated off of him. "Miles, how much physical contact that happens between the two of you does she initiate." He thought for a second. "Pretty much none." "Okay, and how many times have you got close to having sex?" "Once, but she freaked out, but it was early on-" "Dude, you need to talk to her about it because you sound like an ass." Miles rolls his eyes. "Does she talk to you about this stuff, what should I do?" Winston chuckles patting Miles on the back. "Not me, no. I get the surface level drama. Tristan gets all the other stuff."
"Are you calling me here about the truth or dare game?" Tristan automatically knows what it's about as Miles closes the student council room door behind me. "What is her problem, it's not like I'm forcing her to have sex with me." Tristan sighs sitting down, Miles following. "No, but you're unknowingly putting that presser on her. Presser for something she's not ready for." Miles scoffed at his ex. "It's just sex, what's the big deal?" Tristan's jaw dropped in disbelief, much like Winston's. "Cause she was molested Miles-" "When she was 3, she's said she doesn't remember a lot of it." "Are you being serious, Miles, she has PTSD from it." "How can she have PTSD from something she doesn't remember." "Miles, it's like depression at certain points she's fine and forgets it even happens but other times it's in the forefront and her brain stops repressing the memories and it freaks her out." "So what you're telling me is she doesn't trust me?" "God, you're an idiot. She trusts you with her life Miles-''''Then why won't she trust me with this, she doesn't even initiate PDA. Are you telling me that that's from her PTSD as well?" "Yes I am." Miles scoffed again dramatically. "Miles first off, you're her first relationship and she's scared of being clingy and scaring you off-" "So she wants to but doesn't?" "Are we still talking about PDA or sex?" "Both, Tristan." "Yes, PDA she wants to but waits for you incase you're not in the mood for her to be attached to you and sex, it brings back those memories for her. The two of you haven't even talked about it yet." "So you're telling me that if she's not having the memories and I initiate something, she'll be okay?" Tristan shook his head, sighing in disappointment. "No, what I'm saying is talk to her."
"Hello." "Hello?" I turn to look at Miles confusingly, well the best I can in the unknown position he has me in. Winston also looks at him with the same face he stands behind me, with his hands wrapped around my waist, pulling my back into his chest. "How was your day?" He questions, leaning down rubbing his nose to mine as he speaks, me looking up at him... that the hell is he doing, he has never done that before. "Um... fine." The bell rings for class to start and he kisses my cheek before letting me go and sitting in his seat. I do the same, turning to send a confused glance to Winston besides me. "Is he on drugs or something?" I whisper, to which Winston just shrugs as he sends worried glancing back to Miles.
I didn't even have time to drop my bag or process the door closing before Miles' lips were on mine and my knees were pressed against the edge of his bed. I lock them so that I don't fall backwards onto the bed. Miles had been clingy the whole second half of the day, he has never been like this before... at least not with me. If I would've blinked I would've missed his shirt and belt coming off before he turned my around, and started kissing my neck... what the fuck is he doing? My phone goes off in my front pocket, I take it out and see the message from my mom. "What is it?" He mumbles, not stopping his movements, his arms finding their way around my waist. "My mom needs me home early, she has to go into work and needs me to stay with Oliver." "This won't take long," His one hand comes up to my face to turn my head so he can kiss me, while his other grabs my phone and tosses it aside. Being so into the kiss, I didn't realize his other hand was moving to the clip of my pants, but I do when he undone it. I pull away to say something, but the wind is knocked out of me when I'm turned around again and pushed back onto the bed. I have no time to say anything before Miles is on top of me. "Miles." I whisper, scared that my voice will crack if I raise it. He doesn't hear me and keeps going, I think about it for a second... One part of me wants to keep going, it's Miles. I love him and I trust him and I want to do this with him... but this isn't my Miles so I do it. I knee him and as he reacts in pain I push him off me, standing and rushing to the door, being the farest from him without leaving the room. "What the hell?" As he composes himself, I unbutton my pants and cross my arms over my face. "What do you mean 'what the hell?' What the fuck was that?" "Well, you're obviously weirded out that I've had more experience than you." "What do you think there is something wrong with me cause I haven't had sex?" "I'm not saying that, what I'm saying is it's not a big deal-" "Maybe for a man whore-" I stop at Miles' face dropping. "I didn't mean-" "Just let out."