SILVER LINED DOUBT. [JESS MARIANO]

THIRTY-FOUR.

(hey there friends! it's been a minute. hope you're excited. this one took a lot out of me, so i'm sure excited to give it to you.)

(alright, if we're being honest, the first half of this is just straight tv-14 sexualish content. it's not smut, but it's not clean. its tv-14 shit with a lot more swears than they're allowed. it's my first time ever writing anything like this, so go easy on me, please. i know some people can be a bit uncomfy with stuff like this, so if you want to skip it, you won't miss anything relevant to the story! i made sure of that. it ends right after the first break, and then it's pretty clean from there, apart for a few sexual references. hope that's good with y'all.)

(anyway, i'm sorry i was gone for a bit. also this is so tragically, unbelievably unedited. glad to be back! see y'all at the end. love you all tons. enjoy! -mags)

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JESS WAS ON Marley as soon as she shut the door.

In the midst of all of the slight nerves that were creeping up on her as the two of them made their way to her room, she'd completely missed the fact that Jess had stopped arguing his point. She was too in her head to notice that he'd shut his mouth and was standing before her, catching her face in his hands as soon as she turned to look at him. She made a noise of surprise against his lips, tensing momentarily before she eased into it.

It was slow yet urgent, easy yet breathless. It felt like a whole bunch of contradictions wrapped into one action, but somehow Marley was unable to form a cohesive thought despite the words spinning around in her head. She let him walk her a step backward so that her back was pressed against the door, effectively caging her in for the time being. As if she wanted to be anywhere else.

Her stomach lurched in a nervous way, similar to how she felt on the roof on her twenty-first, where she and Jess had almost found themselves in this position. It was the good type of nervous. The anticipation type of nervous. For the most part.

The other part (and while it was small, it was still there) was less good. This was just so... new. Not Jess, not kissing, not the implications of something more occurring, but all of those things together. That was new. Brand new. And while it didn't scare her as much as it had before, the nerves hadn't gone away.

She knew it wasn't because she didn't trust him or whatever normal reasons she had for being nervous while making out with a guy. This was Jess. She trusted him more than anyone. She trusted him with her fucking life. And as he continued to kiss her, gentle, soft, but holding her like someone was going to rip her out of his arms, she knew trusted him in whatever situation they found themselves in later on.

But, then again, this was Jess. This was the boy who'd just poured his heart out to her and told her that he loved her in every way he knew how. This was the boy who she'd harbored a crush on for months and hadn't realized she'd fallen in love with in the process. This was the boy who was so uniquely special to her, someone who made her feel that everything else was leading up to this. Anything before this was practice. That was her crash-course. This was the real thing.