Dusty Memories

2

"You've let the devil use you to get to me and take me away from my God"

I was laying in bed with a smile plastered across my face. How could you not smile when thinking about someone so amazing- beautiful.

It's as if time had stopped in that store and I couldn't seem to wrap my head around the feelings I felt for the strange girl I met. Had it all been a dream? Just a vision. I do tend to have those a lot. False realities are a nice coping mechanism.

My mom rushed into my room for the fourth time that morning.

"Get up. We will be late church starts at 10:30" she said harshly. My parents could spit venom when it came to church things.

It gets to the point where you refuse to compromise with them. I eventually gave in to being forced to church. If I hadn't gone my life would be much harder for me. My parents would kick me out if I stopped going. They yearn to keep their religion right on my ass. I'm not even sure if they know I'm a lesbian. They probably still believe I'm completely in love with their God.

"Y'all go ahead I'll be on my way. I'll get there before youth starts." I shouted to her.

"If you don't go you'll regret it." I flinch as I hear my dad snap a shoe lace. You may think that sounds like a silly thing to fear. A shoe lace. A flexible metal shoe lace on ass is not pleasant in the slightest.

I hear the door slam so I quietly get up. My rough feet touch the freezing hard wood floor. I was used to this. Living in a small town we often went without wearing shoes which, as you can guess, made my feet rough.

I go to my closet and search through the few things displayed on hangers. Nothing seemed "churchy" enough. I do all that I can to avoid odd stares and wearing jeans was sure to draw attention.

Going to the floor I grab a flowy black dress. It had small flowers decorating it in random places. I wore it a few weeks ago and I'm guessing it's not too cool out today.

I press my lips together and stare at the soft fabric and rub it between my fingers. Ever since that day it always had a bad stigma to it. It always hurt me to wear it. It hurt me to think about that day. It's strange how objects can have such an affect on me. I still wore it because I knew he'd want me to.

I put it on quickly and grab a pinkish beanie off the floor, pulling it over my frizzy mess. I glance around my room before finding clean socks on the dresser. Pulling those on I slip and slide to the back door. I grab my back pack before I rush out, putting on skates and hobbling down the drive way. Our driveway wasn't paved so riding across the loose rocks was sure to cause skinned hands.

Getting out on the dusty road I ride in small circles on it trying to make a decision.

If I decided to head off to church I'd be staring down someone trying to convince me of a God who I simply believed wasn't there. If I decided to ride down to the gas station, I'd be free of that for now. I'm sure my parents would find out and be pissed about it later.

To me it seemed getting yelled at later was something I could handle.Deciding to play hooky from the church service I head towards the motel. I mean gas station.

I rode past the old gas station and instead towards the motel. I brush down my dress as I stop in the parking lot of the old hotel. I smile softly as I see the jeep sitting in the parking lot. For now it was the only thing keeping me from heading off to church. I could handle a beating later. There was just something about this girl that drew me to her and I needed to know more about her.

Skating closer towards the jeep I peer at the door it was parked in-front of. Just a guess it would be the room she was staying in. Not to mention it was the only room with the lights on and the jeep was the only car in sight.

In the next two seconds many things happen. The door is suddenly opened with a slight creek. I see the beauty and my mouth drops open wide before I slam into the back of the jeep. I hit the ground pretty hard, my head slamming against concrete.

"Damn darling." I feel gentle hands wrap under my back and legs before I'm hoisted into the air. A soft shriek escaping my lips. "You hit that pretty hard, didn't ya dear?" She says calmly.

I'm guessing I was in too much shock to speak and she swiftly walked back into the oddly smelling motel room. It was quite an old motel and once something gets so old you can't quite shake the smells from it, no matter how much sharp smelling disinfectant spray you use.

She all but tossed me on the bed. "Shit, sorry. Sorry. That was kind of rough." She whispers quietly.

"I'm so sorry." I utter quietly. Must have been a shock to her to have woken up to that.

—