Trapped in Lace (lgbt)

Ch 8

They have been living together for nearly three weeks with neither really wanting to part from each other. That doesn't stop Mikhail from feeling like he has overstayed Antony's hospitality. If he is honest with himself, he can no longer picture himself without Antony and that should scare him. However, it only serves to make him sad.

The man is charming and respectful. He is intimidating, yes, but also kind.

It is every he wants and want to be.

Everything he cannot have.

"Have you ever been with anyone?" Antony asks one evening as they share dinner with each other's company.

Mikhail splutters at the question, nearly choking on the spoonful of food in his mouth.

"My apologies," Antony chuckles.

"Isn't that a bit of a crude topic to discuss during dinner?" Mikhail coughs.

"We're both men," Antony shrugs, he's driven by his curiosity.

"To answer your question, then," Mikhail sighs, "no, I... I have not."

There's a flush overtaking his delicate features and Antony feels a grip around his heart.

"Oh?"

"I, much like my sisters, have always been protected. It would have been scandalous and would make me ineligible for a proper marriage."

"But marriage has been the last thing on your mind, has it not?"

Mikhail bites his lip, a habit that Antony is becoming fond of.

"It is hard to imagine myself with someone, anyone. Hard to picture another person respecting me as I am. It is hard to expect someone to love me when it is already hard to love myself."

It is a soft-spoken confession that tugs at the strings in Antony's chest.

The plates are soon cleared, and they take their tea in the sitting room.

"I'm sorry," Antony apologizes, "it was not my intention to make you uncomfortable."

"It is quite alright Antony," Mikhail smiles shyly, "I will admit I am rather curious. Mama has spent her years taking care of my siblings, there has been little talk of what occurs in the bedroom. I truly do not know what I should expect if I were ever to find myself in that position."

Antony pauses and realization strikes him, "Have you never..."

He can't say the words without embarrassing Mikhail.

"Never what?" The boy asks innocently, head tilt and all.

"Have you never pleasured yourself?"

"I- What?" The bashful disbelief is adorable.

Antony stands from his seat across from Mikhail.

He places his cup on the coffee table before perching beside the younger man.

He lowers his voice as if someone will hear when there is no one but them, "Do you not touch yourself?"

Mikhail must take it the wrong way as he makes to stand, shoulders hunched and offended.

"Mikhail -"

"I'm sorry if you find it amusing bu -"

The rant is cut short.

Strong hand wrapped around his arm.

Mikhail's eyes are wide before they're fluttering closed, heart palpitating fast in his chest.