Bells

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When I woke the next morning. Dread weighed my whole body. Once I noticed my surroundings I remembered the previous day, the man had taken me into his home out of kindness which I did not deserve.

His heart was pure, his smile was genuine. 
Yet he was a fool. 
I squinted my eyes and searched the room for the snore I was hearing.

It was the man. He was wrapped in sheets with his head rested upon on his arms. He slept with a peaceful expression. His sagged stature he wearily slept on his side.
Likely after remaining tense, was truly able to relax his full body.

I sighed slowly as I rose from my bed. The sun was just rising over the trees in the forest. The golden glaze painted the view warmly. As I knelt in front of the window, I noticed a few pines sway a little.

Tracing my glance to the outline of trees I noticed the church bell beginning to move. It was heavy and required lots of force but quickly, I heard a loud ding-dong.

I flinched hearing a thump from behind me.

The man sprung abruptly to his feet. Groggy and dizzy he wobbled up straight. The bell had risen him to life as it was so loud I had to cover my ears. It wasn't that the bell was unusually loud on this day, it's only I was closer to it than usual.

I twitched, expectedly looking to the man. He came over without hesitation, noticing me kneeling next to the window covering my ears. 

He did not mock me, he only remained at my side, smiling affectionately and brushing my shoulder softly. I felt embarrassed, as I turned my head away in defeat. I did not deserve this humour. I was a mockery to this world. I truly wasn't worthy to be here. I wanted to leave, just please end this. The bell continued as I hid my face away wearing a glazed look. 

The man, chuckled sweety, asking if the bell was too loud that morning. 

I descended deeper when he said that...

Ashamed, I fell on my side to the floor. The man presumably concerned, approached my body as the bell began to slow.

Kneeling down, with a look upon his eyes inquiring: "was I okay?" perceptively.
I understood. Sadly, I begun gazing at the cracked lines around his mouth. 

Slowly, I reach my hand to touch his detailed chin. He didn't flinch nor waiver at this. His eyes only stared into mine with sympathetic curiosity. I gently moved my hand up his three. Hitting his hairline, I traced my knuckles gradually down to his ear. 

I pulled on it a little. 

His skin seems so flexible. His face in my hand, I covered his ear. Glancing to my hand his eyes crinkled as he gently smiled. By his state I could tell he was a bit mystified by me, yet remaining sympathetic.

Like I was studying him by his gestures.

In truth I was fascinated by him. Everytime I touched him I felt my hand warm for a moment. It felt comfortable. I wished to stay forever with my hand on this kind man's ear.

But I knew I couldn't. Wishing to be closer yet swelled by the pain of my guilt, I forced myself to take a flat palm and push him away. Shuffling to lay on my opposite side without a response.

The man kneeled a little closer to my back. Touching his hand to my shoulder I shrugged it off aggressively. I wanted to be alone away from this temporary relief. This wasn't real, and I always knew what would happen once it was over…

The man thankfully understood my hint. I heard tapping footsteps pick up, heading away from me to the stove. Presumably preparing a breakfast that warm morning.

As I lay against the wall, I sadly begun to long for my bell to soon ring out.

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⏰ Última actualización: Feb 25, 2021 ⏰

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