Chapter 40

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My poor husband is struggling to walk from my punch last night. The bodyguards chuckled when he made his way to the SUV that's now taking us to court. I'm so sick and tired of coming here every day especially since the movie production is getting impatient to have Ryan on set.

One of my ex-coworker is testifying today, our lawyer wants her to talk about what she saw and heard. I'm surprised when Brenda talks about things that were said in the lunchroom.

"Jake used to say that Ella is beautiful and perfect for him. He talked about her outfits, how it would show her boobs... Sorry... I should have said breasts. I told him that she was allowed to wear whatever she wants but he said she did it to make him horny. He would joke around saying he was going to jerk off in his office. Crude comments such as "I wonder if she'd let me fuck her in the bathroom" often came out of his mouth," Brenda is avoiding looking at Jake.

"Has Ella ever talked about him in the same manner, expressing interest in him?"

"No! Not at all. Ella is deeply in love with Ryan. She did ask me to keep Jake out of her office by telling him she was busy. But he would still walk in there, sometimes without even knocking."

"Can you recall any specific event where you saw them interact and he was out of line?" Mr. Hale asks her.

"I think the dinner was the most embarrassing moment. You could tell he was mad to see Ryan join us. Whenever Ryan would display signs of affection, Jake would roll his eyes. Then when we took pictures Jake tried to provoke him by making snarky comments. Ryan and Ella remained polite and calm but there was definitely tension in the room," she explains.

"Can you recall anything else?" Mr. Hale knows we've talked about the dinner before and I'm guessing he wants to add to the list of events.

"There was this one time, Ella and I were in her office; as usual he just walked in. She was eating a banana and he made a comment asking her if she thinking of him in reference to a blow job. Ella told him to get out right away, he thought his joke was hilarious. His infatuation for her was not something he was trying to hide. Her discomfort being around him was obvious."

I now regret not getting to know Brenda better. Although I'm usually friendly and care about people, my work at the office in Alberta became something that made me anxious and therefore I tried to detach myself from the people there. I should have tried to show them I enjoyed working with them but I was too busy trying to avoid Jake. I'm hoping I'll get to talk to her before she goes back to Canada.

I ask Mr. Hale if it would be possible to get in touch with Brenda once the court is dismissed for the day. He says I shouldn't do it here but he's willing to be the messenger between us and see if she would talk to me.

A few hours later, we meet in the conference room of the hotel she's staying at. Her husband and two little sons are in the room as well. "Sorry, the boys went crazy when I tried to leave them with Jackson! They missed their mom today," she apologizes when Ryan and I walk closer. "No worries, I won't take too much of your time. I just wanted to say thank you," I reach for her hand squeezing it. One of her sons, a little kid with dark hair and brown eyes who looks exactly like his dad, walks to Ryan. "Hi mate!" Ryan greets him. "You talk funny! Want to see my trucks?" The boy says. "Logan! Be polite, he has a British accent!" his dad scolds him. My husband laughs and sits on the floor to play with the trucks the little boy brings over. Soon the other son joins them. My heart feels heavy seeing Ryan happy to play with kids. He looks like a child himself excited to learn about the different trucks as the children are giving him the details on what they can do with them. He would be such an amazing father and the fact that the chances of us conceiving are getting slim saddens me. I have to force myself to focus on Brenda, worried that I might start crying.

"I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I love you," He pulls me to stand between his legs as he sits on the counter of the bathroom later that night. "But... Aren't you sad? Or mad? Or..." My voice turns to a whisper. He clearly enjoyed being around children but I need to know how he truly feels. "I have you. You're my baby, you're everything to me, as long as you stay mine, I'm happy," he runs his nose on my cold nose. My heart will forever beat faster with every declaration of love that comes out of his mouth. I've now realized that I am lovable and loved, I will never take it for granted. Being loved by Ryan makes my heart full. Although having a child would make me happy, the happiness he's providing is enough. I move back pulling on his arms for him to follow me. Hissing, he gets off the counter holding on to his private part that's still sore. "My poor baby," I reach for his crotch but he grabs my hand. "Don't! And don't try to lick your lips seductively. None for me, none for you," he laughs slapping my butt.

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