The Plight Of Esmeralda.

GOD COMPLEX

God Complex.

Esmeralda,
Get up yelled Louise through her bedroom door way, it's time to meet your maker. Hahahah
Right when she said that Esmeralda had realized what today entailed, this was so wrong , once again it was like he had the upper hand. She knew she couldn't count on Louisa for actual support because technically she thought she brought it all on herself. She was only there to support Josephine, & Josephine had worked herself in to a tissy because of " the telling off" she received from Tommy. Tommy corrected her when she called him Tommy just like he did with certain others, you had to be of close association like Johnny or Charlie who was his uncle,  they weren't good enough it seemed to call him by his Christian name. That was also really insulting considering he was just a Gypsy boy not that long ago it seemed, she was sure that this also added leverage to his meager threat since using the salutation of Mr ; just to sound more authoritarian then you get the O. B. E, Order of the British Empire, more to the likes of an  Obtrusive Bigoted Enigma.
EZ MA RA LDA she yelled again up the narrow hallway of the stairwell this time. Fuck Off replied Mellie, fuck off Lou. Oh aren't we just a joy to be around again today Louise said stand ing in her doorway scowling at her. Wish daddy was here said Esmeralda quietly . Yeeeeah, ( emphasis on yeah dragging it out) well he's not! She got the feeling that Louise didn't love their father like they did, or how Esmeralda did. Maybe Esmeralda could try to understand.
She was the eldest and got a lot of the attention. Louisa came in to the world about 4 1/2 years later. Then Josephine followed  & held the title of the baby girl for so long, that was approx 6 years, and Baby Bonnie . their brother, 5 years last but not least. Esmeralda was known to be very pretty, she of course was but there was a hardness to her now, she felt like she had aged 15 years in 5! Maybe she also got most of the attention because she was the eldest, Josephine because she was a baby for awhile, Louise was the middle child, the forgotten. Louise was the most sensible, stern but in a logical sense. She never forgot her roots but nobody would ever prevent her from growing into something more than a Gypsy who overcame  her position. Gypsy Queen, no, Queen. She was tired of the reputation that bestowed her, for like any other civilian there were good Gypsies, bad Gypsies, honest & dishonest. She always felt that when it came to a Gypsy curse you were more liable to be cursed if you believed it than not. That if a Gypsy were to curse an outsider then that outsider would also be more  prone to accepting it if they truly believed it,
However Mellie remembered her mother picking up on her shrewdness & commented , that will be the making or breaking of you Esmeralda, which she thought at the time was an odd statement considering shrewdness was a person of good judgement but shrew was an ill tempered woman which she knew now she was the latter of the two. Louisa was so introverted, she's just so ....melancholy yet has an insight that we can't see, like she's observing her surroundings & already planning her escape, said mama to her father, she seems to look upon the world as little as she is as a threat that she must endure or conquer. Well Esmeralda does make a fuss when you're holding her, I have to hold her, I'm nursing her, what are we going to do Ab get a fucking wet nurse, I don't think we can afford that, do you. It wouldn't hurt for you to lay her down once and awhile, perhaps you'll feel better. It wouldn't hurt for you to hold her once in awhile too Aberama, that to would make me feel better & no doubt her too!
After Esmeralda washed, and cleaned her teeth, Louisa was leaning in her doorway with right hip perched against the door & sticking her left against the opposite wall, she had her left hand on her hip.
So whaddya think he's gonna have you do, I think you mean what is he going to talk to me about replied Mellie.
No that's not what I mean at all replied Louise, he's already addressed the mess you made, broken window, she started itemizing the damage...broken glasses, broken furniture, broken noses..Will you shut up scorned Esmeralda, I swear you're enjoying this!
No I'm not, just trying to make you see the errors of you ways. Hey, I was just thinking 🙄 "here we go" thought Esmeralda. Maybe he'll go easy on you, he understands how you feel , bla blah & tell you you can work off some of your debt at his manor, Birmingham office, Betting House, ( I'm not going there , fucking slum, I'd rather live in a wagon or a long boat. Oh I can see you now Mellie, fitted or rather tight fitted in a tiny black maids uniform, 1 1/2 sizes to small with an alabaster white pinafore , he'll have it specially made for you, , give you a feather duster & have you bend over to reach those hard to get places. You BITCH yelled Mellie, and swiveled around in her dresser chair and threw her hair brush towards her sister, she ducked out of the way just in time, temper , temper she hollered back as she heard her going down the stairs, you're a fucking twat you know that she screamed . Esmeralda couldn't help it , her eyes started tearing up, she tried to ignore it but they started to,burn and she started to cry.

10 minutes later Josie came up & saw her sister had been crying, Oh Mellie, don't worry, you know it's probably going to be alright, it's not that replied Esmeralda, my hair is so knotted I can't the tangles out...here allow me she said & preceded to brush her hair.
How you wan it, what replied Esmeralda, do u want it up in a bun, down, how, we don't have much time to add any extra curl but it looks good the way it is. Whenever Esmeralda had washed her hair there were always some soft flowing curls. I would keep it down , pretty & delicate Esmeralda, that is not hard for you. Men forget all their woes when they see a pretty girl standing before them she said. I'm not a girl replied Mellie, I'm a mature woman , she saw her sisters make a face when she mentioned the word mature. She gave her sister a contemptuous look, anyway we are not talking about most men here Josie , we are talking about Thomas Shelby, he may be OBE, but he's also a thief , swindler, liar, womanizer, interrogater , murderer, executioner , n if he were a woman he'd be a fuck in ' whor er , he uses women for what he wants  & needs, after that he discards them like they were just rubbish that he was holding on to thinking it might be worthy to him some day. So sad replied Josie in an almost sympathetic way, I just don't know how anyone can live their life that way, you can never relax, constantly looking over your shoulder. Well some people can said Esmeralda in a condescending tone. Daddy was a, ....yes I know, replied  Esmeralda, I know what he was, he was as fierce as he was gentle, we haven't had to fight for what we wanted or needed, he did it for us. I don't think he had a choice, but Tommy Shelby did. He came back from the war  a decorated soldier and all he's decorated Birmingham with is blood and guts, he had a fucking choice, he chose destruction & used fear to get respect.
That is what power does, it's never enough, there will always be someone that comes along ready to snatch it from you, he's in to win but he will surely lose, eventually they all do. Yes well said Josephine, but I bet Billy Kimber never thought he'd be taken out by little Tommy Shelby , it doesn't matter replied Mellie, someone will do the same to him, it's inevitable, You reap what you sow!

Just then Louisa yelled up the stairs, TAXI'S  HEEEERE. Oh, just listen to her said Esmeralda crossly, I know she's really enjoying this, as they went down the stairs and Esmeralda grabbed her thick cream camel hair coat Louise turned around & said, oh, we should of probably had a priest over so you could say your last, SHUT UP YOU BITCH,screamed Esmeralda, why do you fucking do this Louise I would think you'd be on my side, I'm still your sister. Oh for chrissakes Esmeralda I'm joking. Thomas Shelby is a businessman as well as a gangster & OBE, he is going want to discuss this but I'm sure that's it. However, Mellie, I'm sure he's going to be straight to the point, whatever it is your harboring you are gonna have to let it out once and for all & let bygones be bygones, I'm sure he's going to assure you that if this should happen again he might have you thrown in jail. Esmeralda just shook her head, she was already thinking about how to get out of this. She wasn't up for a discussion with this ruthless no good Gypsy boy who thinks he's a bloody king now, maybe she can find a way  to evade him or make him suffice for awhile until she comes up with something to really drive him to his knees, she no doubt knew that he was thinking the same way. Huh the nerve he had yesterday coming over to her house, stomping up her stairs, coming onto her room  & Grousting her up out of her own bed, not to mention that slap..., then talking about who she had in her bed like he's some bloody monk. Some bloody cheek he had, oh she'd teach him she would.

The taxi pulled a long side the curb, Esmeralda was really not ready for this meeting, she was starting to feel nauseous, she barely remembered anything as she stepped out of the car and the freezing cold wind slapped her face with ice & water, she could hear her sisters voices murmuring in the background as they paid the driver & Josie saying  something like, I think it's  gonna snow, I can smell it, smell it followed her sister, you can feel it.

MEETING OF THE MINDS!