the lonely hearts club || n.h au

four

One of the reasons Alexandra likes her job is because it allows her to work remotely. She still has to go to the office when there are urgent issues to attend to. Or when her colleagues need her help. Or when her CEO, Ben, asks her to.

But most of the time, she does her work from the comfort of her home.

And today, the flexibility of her work allows her to make an hour drive back to her hometown.

After finishing her tasks and making sure that she wouldn't be needed at the office, Alexandra got into her car and started driving. She didn't allow herself to think twice about it. She'd promised herself that she would do it today. That she'd talk to Niall. And she's going to do it. Even though every fibre in her body is telling her that this is a bad idea. She'll only just humiliate herself.

A part of her wishes that she'd talked to Tash first. Because when she drives past the sign that welcomes her to her hometown, her heart lurches in her stomach. What is she going to say to Niall when she sees him? She can't straightaway ask him if he'd like to be her fake boyfriend, can she? She needs to warm him up to the idea, sees what he thinks about it. 

Damn it, she thinks. If she'd talked to Tash, she probably won't be freaking out in her car right now. Rehearsing lines after lines only for none of them sound good. Tash would tell her what to say. She's always better at talking to people than Alexandra is.

But then again, if she'd talked to her best friend, her trip back home wouldn't be a secret. There's something comforting about going home and having no one know about it. That way, if things don't go as planned, no one — including her best friend — will witness it. Tash will find out about it, of course. But at least she won't be at the pub witnessing every single thing.

It's not exactly a bulletproof plan, Alexandra realises. Once she's standing outside of Copper & Compass. Because there's a chance that someone who knows her might be at the pub. What if her dad suddenly decides to drop by the pub? Not that this is his usual place. But still, unexpected things could happen.

Like David breaking up with you out of nowhere, a voice tells her. The same David who then blamed the breakup on her. 'Because you don't love me anymore', whatever that means.

Alexandra pushes that thought to the back of her mind. But not before she uses said voice to fuel her. Push her forward and into Copper & Compass.

The inside of the pub is cosy. The warm lighting. The earthy tones. The wooden bar stools. The walls are lined up with posters and photos that there's hardly any empty spots left. Signs that this pub has been here far longer than she has. One picture in particular stands out to her. Even from afar she recognises the faces in the picture. Niall with his uncle, Patrick Horan. Patrick has his arm slung over Niall's shoulder, corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled wide for the picture. Niall has a similar expression in the picture, though there's a hint of embarrassment in his eyes. Probably from being forced to take the picture. 

Alexandra looks around the pub once more. To make sure that no one who might know her is here. Even though there are only a few people inside. It won't hurt to be careful.

Her eyes finally land on the man standing behind the bar. And her heart leaps to the base of her throat.

He doesn't seem to notice her. Hunched in front of a book that looks like to be the source of his problems. Judging by the troubled expression on his face — all pinched brows and pursed lips.

She can't decide if he looks the same or different. Maybe it's a bit of both. There are parts of him that remind Alexandra of the same boy she used to have a crush on in high school. But there are also parts of him that make her see him in a different light.