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Dear Diary; It's been three months out of jail. I'm happy I've also been plotting on how Imma get my revenge on every single last persons in that family.
Maybe just him but hurting him will hurt them. He is my main focus right now.
I was living good buts it's really how I got to living good. I step out of my car and visited my grandmothers grave.
I looked at her tombstone and let out tears. My last chance I could of seen her I wasted it to go back in that environment.
All she wanted was for me to move out of that toxic house hold and live good with her she probably would of still been alive right now if I stayed with her.
"Grandma, I love you and I'm sorry," I said. I hope she hears me.
It hurt me to pieces how much I didn't value her until she was dead. I'm so fucking mad I did that. I was so stupid. I can't go a day with out regretting that.
I knew she was looking down at me. She probably didn't like what I was doing but I'm still doing this to get better.
I don't fucking care how bad it is going to get. I have my plan.
I smiled because I remembered the time she took me to the church. I believed she told that pastor something because ain't no way his ass was saying my whole life story just like.
He preached about a girl that was young and looked for love in all the wrong places. Then finally she found it in a man who would use her and she did every thing in her power so that he couldn't stop loving her.
Shit that was me and my dumbass was on some "she sounds stupid,".
A tear dropped from my eye as I remembered how she warned me about him but being the stupid bitch that I was I didn't listen.
"I don't know what to say but I'm sorry. Like I'm trying to recover from my past. I knew you worried about me every night. You and Kd was the only ones who actually loved me," I said.
I left and went into my car. I could stay there all day but I can't. Last night I practically stayed their for 12 hours just crying and talking to her.
I have a dick appointment at 7. It was now 5: 55.
I was already cleaned but I went back home to do some more cleaning up. I showered again and put on a sweatsuit.
