Defy Your Authority (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Glutton for Punishment

"Sergeant, if you could direct me to the Supreme--"

Another officer brushed past you with wide eyes and a tight face, ignoring you completely. This was the sixth one in a row, in fact. You were getting the impression that people were either deliberately ignorant about his whereabouts or too afraid to reveal them.

Unfortunately, this left you with fewer and fewer options to investigate.

You'd been back to the hangar, stopped by the Buzzard (only briefly), tiptoed past the mess hall, and returned to the Supreme Council chambers. Fear stalled you from entering to check, but you hadn't heard even a breath beyond the doors regardless. The Steadfast was overwhelmingly similar to the Finalizer, barring a couple of important details--namely, the location of Kylo Ren's quarters. The mirror on the Steadfast was a normal, 'trooper-filled crew deck.

There was one place you considered he might be. A place where only the Supreme Leader might go.

You made your way toward the turbolift to the throne room, rehearsing your lines. The entire journey was to you a huge waste of time--after all, Kylo wasn't willing to change his mind for you, so the thought of him changing it for the ginger prick seemed unlikely. Hux thinks I should stay wasn't a particularly strong argument, but you'd already tried I want to stay, and that hadn't worked either.

It was pointless. You realized the futility yourself as you arrived at the turbolift and it requested your code cylinder before the doors closed.

Well, fuck. You'd been with Pryde and Hux the most recent time. You didn't have theirs. There was no way you were getting into the throne room. Sighing, you stick in your code cylinder anyway, as if anything would happen.

Then the doors shut. The lift moved.

You choked on your own spit. There were only seconds to process the fact that your cylinder accessed the throne room before you slowed to a stop. Heart rate climbing, you tried to breathe--and beyond the durasteel, something quaked like a terrible collision, the ripples shaking the lift. That same breath caught in your lungs. That could only have been him. The blast door opened, and you were paralyzed.

One of the massive imitation suns was lodged in the chamber walls, sparking with dying energy. The other spun mid-air, its swirling surface spilling a dim pearly glimmer over the glossy black floor. And in the center of the room stood the silhouette of Kylo Ren, arms extended as he called them toward his body like gravity itself. His head moved to glance over his shoulder.

An inkling of something: joy, maybe. Anxiety. One thousand questions waited to be heard--if you really want me here, why can't you let me stay, why won't you talk to me, why won't you show me, why didn't you ever come find me for even one night--and you stopped yourself. It'd been four months without someone in your head.

You felt it through the darkness--felt his eyes land on yours. The globes flickered.

He dropped his arms, and the globes remained stable, hovering above him. "Lieutenant."

The air was thick. "Supreme Leader."

Kylo was still, observing you. "You're here for a reason."

You shrugged. "I mean... yeah."

Silence. The heavy weight of his gaze dragged you from the turbolift into the throne room, forced your feet to move.

Haloed by silver sunlight, Kylo Ren was something more than your lover, more than the Supreme Leader of the galaxy. He was cosmic and divine, a shadow suspended in space, a nebula of raw, ravenous power. You were drawn to him like a planet, like an asteroid. Like something completely and utterly inconsequential in his glory.