Last Moments

[One Shot] Last Moments.

(Fate/Stay Night belongs to Type Moon and Kinoko Nasu)

(Cover art belongs to Onikukku/モーリッシュ)

"Hah..." I let out an exhausted sigh as I sat at the bench near the altar after making sure that Rin was safe asleep on one of the bench.

The grafting process should have been started by now on the other side of the door.

I could hear footstep approaching, I have no need to turn my head to identify whose footstep it belongs to.

"You are Shirou...Aren't you?" Illya asked as her footstep came to a stop.

I know that this situation is inevitable even if I try to avoid it. I put on a smirk as I turn to face her.

"Oh, How do you know?" I asked.

Illya approach me once more and sat besides me while saying "It's a bit hard not to get the resemblance when you had your hair like that" in a low voice. She had her head facing down to the ground and it makes it hard for me to read her expression.

"...My hair?" I mutter. It took me a moment to realize that my hair has been down this whole time, resembling that of past self "How foolish" I thought and laugh a bit.

"...But then again, I am Emiya Shirou... or maybe... I no longer deserve that name..." I thought bitterly.

"...Yes, I am a possible future for Emiya Shirou" I said, answering her previous question.

"I see... Good thing you finally became a hero, huh?" Illya said.

"No, Not exactly" I said while shaking my head slightly "I sold my soul to the will of humanity, Alaya to be exact"

I could see her eyes widened from the corner of my eyes.

"...A Counter Guardian..." Illya said in realization as her bangs covered her eyes, she muttered "Shirou... You Idiot"

The regret that I felt washes over me as the memories that I experienced over the years as a Counter Guardian entered my mind.

I laughed wryly.

"...I am an Idiot, I thought that I could save more people but not that I would be sent to kill people for eternity and get my ideals trampled."

"You can say that I was tortured. I have no free will. I even thought of the idea of killing Emiya Shirou so that I could escaped from all of it"

I don't even know why I would even want to touch on this subject. To my sister nontheless...

Illya was silent, but I knew she wants me to keep going.

Since she's going to know about it in the future anyway, there's no point in beating around the bushes anymore.

I tilted my head, my eyes were glued to the altar, as if confessing a sin while resting my only arms on my lap.

"...My view expands after I save one. Ten after one. A hundred after ten. How many was it after hundred I wonder...? And that was when I finally realized that my-Emiya Shirou's ideal was just a convenient fantasy..."

I could feel my own words echoes in the silence of the church. I even know that 'he' is listening, perhaps he finds it amusing, I didn't even felt his presence move from the moment I entered the church. Perhaps 'he' didn't want alert Illya and remain in the shadows, but I knew better that he is enjoying himself.

I payed it no heed and continued "But I didn't care about that. From the start, I didn't do these things to be apreciated. I had no intention of be praised as a hero. I just want a result where everybody would be happy. I trampled on dozens of wishes to save one person, I ignored even more people to save those I trampled over. I killed scores of people, rescued only those who is in front of me, and destroyed many more wishes."