THERAPY

SCHOOL

Cheer practice was cancelled so I spent my morning reading in the library. The notice was texted to the cheer group chat but I'm not in the group chat (Remember when I said my classmates hate me? Yeah... I wasn't exaggerating). The time passed slowly but class started eventually and unfortunately for me, my first subject of the day was maths. Maths is such a pointless subject. I mean, if you want to be an engineer or doctor or any of that I guess it's useful, but for someone like me who just wants to work at Subway, I don't need to know how to find the gradient of a stupid curve. Still, I do fairly well. It's my worst subject by far but I try not to get below a C. I'm only able to do so because I'd rather study than spend time with my mom and her boyfriends. Studying also serves as a great distraction from my thoughts which trap me in a loop of questions with no answers. At least maths has formulae I can use to find answers. It's direct, I like that about it.

The sharp shriek of the bell comes as a relief. Maths is finally over and now I have Music with Ms Helen. I wait for the class to clear out before leaving so I don't have to suffocate in the crowd. In the meantime, I collect my stuff and arrange them in my bag. The door clears fairly quickly and I leave. Watching my feet with each step I take is the only way I get through the hallway rush. I'd rather not see the spiteful glances some of my classmates throw me. I'm the only music student in my grade because everyone else dropped it after sophomore year as it stopped being a desirable aesthetic. My being good at it and constantly receiving praise from Ms Helen (the music teacher) was also a deciding factor in their loss of interest. I like being the only student though. It just so happens Ms Helen and my dad were childhood friends, so spending time with her is the closest I'll get to spending time with him. Mom doesn't like her being around so I only see her in school. We talk about dad sometimes and she tells me all kinds of stories about him and how he was such a talented musician but never had the passion to pursue it professionally. "He could've become a household name if he wanted to" She always says. I know it's true because he taught me how to play the piano and would sometimes play for me and sing. His voice was soothing and I almost always ended up falling asleep before he could finish his song. But her closeness to my dad isn't the only reason I enjoy Ms Helen's class. Sure we talk about him on occasion but for the most part, she just teaches me and doesn't walk on eggshells around me. Most people, especially teachers, don't know how to treat me. My dad's cold case got a lot of media attention and so everyone knows me as the daughter of the lawyer who got murdered. They constantly pity me and I hate that. But Ms Helen just sees me as Tara, and I like that. From outside the music room, a few feet away, I hear the piano playing. Claire de lune, Ms Helen's favourite piece. I walk in, ready to take in the only peaceful session I'll get the whole day. A silhouette in my peripheral vision catches my attention. There's something else... someone else in the room. "Hey, Tara! I decided to take music this semester so it looks like we're going to be classmates!" No. Please! No! I study his features carefully to make sure I am not mistaken. Dirty blond hair, a cheery smile and a school sports team jersey... Unfortunately, I am not mistaken. Connor Miller is in my music class. Why me?! "Oh... that's great!" It's awful. An absolute nightmare. "My parents thought it would be a good idea. Expand my horizons and all that." All I can manage to do is smile and nod. If I try to speak my voice will crack. I genuinely want to cry because this was supposed to be my peace time. Now it's deal with Connor time. He lives in my neighbourhood and sometimes his dog, Chase, and Reila have play dates. I wouldn't go as far as to say we're friends but we've hung out a couple of times. He is always trying to talk to me and asks a lot of questions. I do my best to avoid him but he is everywhere. Music class is supposed to be just me and Ms Helen. Now he is here. You'd think he wouldn't have time for it considering he is captain of the boy's football, basketball, and swimming teams and president of the journalism club, yet still maintains a 4.2 GPA. He also has this obsession with mysteries and spends a lot of time reading about them in the library. I think he started speaking to me because of my dad's murder since it's one of this town's biggest mysteries. If you ask me, his horizons could stand to be a little narrower. I sit down a chair away from him and wait for Ms Helen to give instructions. With a wide grin, she stops playing and turns to Connor and me, her lips eager to utter words. "So, today I want to do something different!" She starts unable to hide her excitement. I don't like where this is going. "Since we have two students now, I want you guys to learn a duet!" She can't be serious!? Did someone curse me to have the worst day or something? First, it was warm shower water instead of hot this morning (And I have a gut feeling Matt is the reason). Now I have to spend time learning to play a duet with Conner and all his endless talking?! "Sounds good!" Connor chimes. "Okay..." It's not like I can refuse. Ms Helen notes my disinterest and, with her eyes, pleads with me to try to look a little more excited. A crooked half-smile is the best I can manage. "Tara, you'll play the violin because the duet sounds beautiful when the flute and violin are combined." I nod and grab a violin from the instrument shelf but turn back and find Connor on the chair that was once between us, taking away the slither of sweet isolation I had. I sit beside him anyway because moving now will just look as if I am actively avoiding him (which I was trying to do but I don't want to be obvious about it). He's not a bad guy but I'd rather avoid befriending someone who commands as much attention as he does. We can be friends outside of school for the sake of Reila and Chase but in school, it's better to maintain the status quo. Mrs Helen leaves us with the music sheets to learn on our own. She does that a lot. Usually, after I teach myself, she listens to how I play and corrects me where I go wrong, allowing me to better improve my sight-reading skills as well as discover my style. I study the piece and Connor does the same. He seems to know what he's doing so I don't bother helping. "Wow... this piece is kind of hard. Is she not going to teach us at all?" He voices, disrupting my focus. "Nope. She likes to hear what I come up with on my own so that she can identify areas that need correcting. You sight read, right?" I sure hope so because I don't have enough patience to explain sight reading. "Yeah, on a basic level. I don't know how to interpret the tempo and all that. I can only tell what notes I need to play and in that order"