Jessie & Elizabeth (abandoned)

13. The Test of Trust [Part 2]

The kids were bickering in the backseat, Cami's eyes fluttering in exhaustion. Elizabeth was driving. She'd loosened her braid: her hair was a wild mess of honey waves, surrounding her like a cape. The sun caught golden glimmers in her locks, a mesmerizing sight, and I'd been staring at them for a while now. She didn't seem to notice, her eyes trained on the road. Now that I'd seen her on a boat, she seemed out of place in something as earthly as a car.

Family outing, Manon had called it. The idea brought an intense warmth to my chest, and immediately, I forced myself to avert my gaze. I wasn't going to make the same mistake again. I was the nanny, and I should know my place. It was a job. The chance those kids would ever really be mine was even smaller than the chance Nick would be.

I wondered where he was. If Lennox was taking care of him, or her parents. If he still remembered me. Probably not. The last time I'd seen him, he'd been about thirteen months, which meant he was no longer a baby, but a toddler. What would he look like now?

Elizabeth stole a glance at me. I could sense that she wanted to say something, only she seemed to have trouble finding the right words, running a hand through her hair as if it was going to help. "You did well," she said then, her fingers tensing around the wheel. "You only screamed twice on the way back." Sometimes, she did this thing where she delivered a sentence in such a deadly serious tone I wasn't sure if she was kidding or not. Like now.

"Err, thanks?" I said. "It's all on you and the kids, though. Lennox tried to get me out on the water a few times as well, but she never succeeded."

"Your ex?"

I grimaced, trying not to touch the butterfly on the inside of my wrist and failing hard. "Yeah..."

"I suppose it ended badly?"

Her eyes were flittering all over the place, moving faster than driving required, and I realized this was her being nervous. Boy, the kids had not been exaggerating when they said she wasn't a people person. I'd never noticed before. She was usually so good at interacting with the posh guests that came over. That must be an act, then, a way to handle people and simultaneously keep them at a distance.

"Oh, absolutely. I wanted to get married and start a family, and she had the sudden desire to travel the world. Without me."

"I'm sorry."

"Ah, well. I wouldn't be here if she hadn't."

It was out of my mouth before I could think about it. Elizabeth seemed as taken aback as I was. Huh. It had been weeks since I'd cried about Lennox, wishing for her to return to me. Was I finally recovering? After a year? Would be about time, I supposed. Look at that. I actually felt really... happy? Wow.

"I get that," Elizabeth said then, watching the kids in the rearview mirror. "Without... without Connery, the girls wouldn't exist."

I smiled, even happier now. She was talking to me about that douchebag. Voluntarily. Did the trust test actually work? "Ah yes, his biggest achievement," I blurted out. "Acting as sperm donor." Oh no... Me and my stupid jokes... I readied myself for a well-placed snark, only she started laughing, the sound ringing through the car. "Although, it's nurture over nature, you know. So, obviously, it's all the result of my hard work, that the kids are this great."

I expected her to scowl and go against me, saying I'd only been here for four months and that I shouldn't flatter myself. Instead, she said: "Yes. You've done wonders with them. I don't know how you do it."

I frowned. Was this one of those instances where I thought she was serious while, in fact, she was kidding? What a weird thing to say. "I mean, you do it too," I said carefully.

"Do what?"

"Take care of them."

"Yes, well. I'm not you."

"No, obviously. You're their mom."

It was such an off statement I kept staring at her, even though she gave no indication of having heard me. Ari and Manon had started arguing with each other, and she told them off, sternly and effectively. Maybe she wasn't great at goofing off with them, but she knew how to raise them, how to love them. Their ecstatic faces today were proof enough they adored being around her. Her only problem was time. If only she didn't have such a demanding job, she would hardly need a nanny.

Manon tapped me on my shoulder. "So, did it work? Are you friends?" She looked at me expectantly, like she wanted nothing more than for us to get along, and if it wasn't already clear she loved her mom no matter what she claimed, I would've known now.

I smiled at Elizabeth, who pretended she wasn't listening, and said: "Oh, yeah. She invited me out on her boat, after all."

She scoffed, just like I'd known she would. "Keep saying that, and I won't allow you back there again."

I grinned. "Aye, aye, captain."

Manon and she both rolled their eyes, though Ari shouted: "Shiver me timbers!"

"Ahoy!" I called out.

The rest of the car ride was spent with the kids and me talking like pirates while Elizabeth concentrated on the road, and I wondered silently if this was what she meant when she said she didn't know how I did it.