Blood & Wine

41 | Iris

I set out this candles just like Eden told me, too, and I called for Adhaya.

For an hour, nothing happened.

I tried everything, too—sitting with my eyes closed and legs crossed. I spoke in my mind, trying to connect myself to her. I spoke aloud, pleading with her to arrive and show me how to use this new ability. This terrifying new ability that made me both proud that someone saw me capable of being something other than a wife or Mate and also weary that I now had responsibility.

I didn't like responsibility like this

I liked taking care of things and people. I liked the position I had been groomed into being—a docile wife who would always be there for her husband. Fynley was the Alpha, and I had been fine being his wife. I'd be well-protected and respected, and I would have his children, hunt, and then move with him to Italy like Fynley's mom did with him.

It would be a boring, safe life.

No one had prepared me for this. For fighting for my life—fighting for everybody's lives. No one had prepared me to be strong and resilient in the face of something like this. Just quiet, docile, and like Eden had pointed out, unnoticed and underestimated. That was where I was comfortable.

Being the wife of the Leader of the Rogues was different. We would be passing down judgement, keeping Rogues in line, and a target would be on his back and mine from now until his reign was taken seriously. It was a position our children would inherit.

"Mother Adhaya, please," I begged, shoving those thoughts down.

I kept my eyes closed and waited for a few seconds. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"Eden must've made a mistake then," I decided, opening my eyes with tears in them. "She was supposed to give this to another werewolf. I won't be able to do this shit, and she'll be counting on me. One more person to disappoint."

Along with my parents, who, when they found out I had Mated with Dasher had been disappointed. The King had taken the money, the status, and the jobs from them to punish me. Thankfully, Irene was in my care and stayed with some others from the pack. My parents had not missed a chance to tell me I needed to go back.

Make Fynley love you again. Fuck him until he doesn't care about his Mate.

It wasn't that simple. It wasn't even an option. Fynley would never go back to me—and I never wanted to lie in his arms like that again. Not when I had experienced Dasher. It was like going from fast food to home-cooked meals then being expected to starve.

"Mother Adhaya," I tried, standing up and looking to the sky. "I don't know if you're ignoring me because I'm unworthy, or maybe it's because you don't see me either. Maybe you think that Eden should've gave this to someone else."

I waited. No response.

Anger spiked in me.

"You know what, Mother Adhaya? You visited a witch and gave her the Werewolf's Mark, but you're turning your back on your own daughter? I did everything right. I followed the rules, I did what was expected of me, and because I Mated with the person I'm supposed to be with and not the person everyone assumed from the prophecy, I'm being forsaken?

"You forgot about me!"

I breathed deeply, trying to control my feelings—being angry at her would not warrant a visit, but I suddenly didn't care. I was suddenly transported to years ago—before Irene, before I really understood what all this meant to marry the Leader of the Rogues.