Mpreg/Life after the band

Untitled Part 1

Luke knows he should go back to the party. Aleisha will be looking for him and what he is doing right now is unfair to her.

But he needs to find Calum. He has always needed to know where Calum is, what he is doing when Luke is not with him. Over the years, he has learned to control himself better, not make his possessiveness over the other man so blatant. But tonight, especially, he feels like he has to know where Calum is.

Because from tomorrow, they are officially no longer 5 Seconds of Summer and it will be harder than ever for him to monopolize Calum’s time. There will be no more scheduled song-writing sessions, no more rehearsals, no more tour buses. Of course Luke will still see him. They’ve been best friends for more than 10 years. But things will change. Luke knows this and it makes his search desperate.

When he finally finds Calum, the older man is leaning against the railing in a secluded balcony, far removed from the noise of the bustling crowd celebrating inside. Luke can only see his profile, but he looks completely breathtaking silhouetted by Manhattan’s twinkling lights. It makes Luke’s heart hurt and he cannot stop himself from wanting.

He silently steps into the balcony and behind Calum, resting his hands on the railing around that slender form. It’s against propriety and etiquette to crowd into Calum’s space like this. They’re both men now, not 18 year old boys, and Luke knows some things are just not done. But Calum instinctively relaxes, pressing back into him and sighing softly as his head falls back to rest against Luke’s shoulder.

They stand in silence for a long time, basking in each others’ presence, and leaving the weight of everything that’s been between them hang unsaid. But it’s not an oppressive silence. In earlier years, Luke might have tried to ask and Calum too afraid to answer. Things have changed. They both understand their boundaries now, knows just how far they can go with each other.

Calum finally turns around, his back now against the railing and his hands curling into the lapels of Luke’s leather jacket. His face is flushed. Luke doesn’t know if it’s from alcohol or their proximity, but he would like to pretend it’s the later. His hair is tousled from the light breeze and his brown eyes are soft and vulnerable as they stare up at Luke.

"Hi," Calum is the first one to break the silence.

Instead of answering, Luke watches as those dark eyes flutter between his own eyes and his lips. The color on Calum’s cheeks darkens and Luke feels a little bit of pride.

It is not the first time they’ve been in this position. Over the years, there have been other situations where they’ve found themselves alone and secluded, Calum in Luke’s arms as they came precariously close to the edge of no return. But they have always found something to interrupt them. Either someone finds them. Or Luke remembers Aleisha. Or Calum pulls away saying he doesn’t want things to get weird in between the group.

But tonight Luke is tired of interruptions. He is tired of feeling guilty and longing and denying himself something for so long. And he is acutely aware that tonight could be his last chance to finally have what he has wanted forever before things change irrevocably.

So he slowly dips his head, watching as Calum’s eyes slip shut untiltheir lips meet.

—

Calum stares at the body next to him. He can’t see his partner’s face, but he doesn’t need to. He would recognize those broad shoulders and that head of blond hair anywhere. Luke Robert Hemmings is fast asleep in his bed. No, Calum corrects himself. He is in Luke’s bed. This is Luke’s New York apartment and those are pictures of Luke’s girlfriend, Aleisha, on the wall.

A thin sheet covers Luke from the waist down but Calum knows he is naked underneath. Even if he were clothed, Calum would not be able to pretend. The pain in his spine and the fresh deep red scratches liberally decorating Luke’s strong back is ample proof that their relationship has fundamentally changed.

His mind flits back to the previous night. Their farewell concert was bittersweet. Calum is glad it was recorded because he got so plastered afterwards at the party Modest threw for them that his memory is blurry at best.

He knows Aleisha was there, looking absolutely stunning on Luke’s arm in a sexy red dress. Calum doesn’t know when or how she and Luke lost each other at the party. He doesn’t know why he left the rooftop restaurant Modest rented out for the night or how Luke was the one to find him out on that balcony so far from the rest of the party.

But he remembers the rest of it crystal clear.

His legs buckling when Luke kissed him for the first time. Hiding his face in embarrassment in Luke’s shoulder when the old woman in the elevator raised an eyebrow at their disheveled appearance as they were leaving the building. Climbing into Luke’s lap in the back of the taxi as the driver sped through the empty streets of downtown Manhattan at 3AM. Luke pressing him up against the door and kissing him slow and deep as soon as they got back to his apartment before carrying him back into this bedroom.

And most vividly of all, he remembers how Luke made love to him over and over, pushing into Calum slowly and carefully like he was the most precious thing Luke’s ever had.

Calum feels exhausted. He slowly climbs out of bed and dresses himself, moving gingerly because his body hurts and feels amazing at the same time in brand new places. His cheeks color as he remembers why and then he quickly pushes the thoughts out. Right now, he doesn’t want to think about this grenade they have just launched. He just wants to go back to his own place, get some sleep in his own bed. This can all wait when he is not hung-over and tired.

He glances back at Luke once and then he’s out of the bedroom.

He doesn’t expect to find Aleisha sitting on the couch. She smiles sadly when she sees him.

"I knew it was going to happen someday," she says softly as she looks at Calum head on, staring at the blotchy purple bruises on his neck. "He was in puppy-love with me when we were all kids together. But you’ve always been the real thing for him," she says.

"I’m sorry, Aleisha," Calum says quietly. "We were drunk. It just happened. I don’t know what any of it even means…"

Aleisha shakes her head and laughs into her hand. “And that’s the thing, Calum. It’s been years you two have danced around each other. And you still aren’t sure. You will never be sure about him. You know that’s not what he really needs, don’t you?” Aleisha asks. “He needs me because I know in my heart of hearts that he’s the one for me,” she says, standing up from the couch and walking towards the door. “He’s had you. Now maybe he can finally move on.”

Calum wants to argue. Wants to tell her she’s wrong and that he is sure Luke is for him. But he can’t because he is not sure at all. Being with Luke… It made sense last night, but in the bright light of the morning, it doesn’t seem anymore possible today than it has all these years.

Aleisha nods. “That’s what I thought. Let him move on, Calum,” she says. “Let him forget you and give yourself a chance to forget him. You tried this and here you are sneaking out on him. So give him a chance to be happy with someone who really wants him.”

Calum lets himself out the door and Aleisha locks it behind him.