The Guilt In Me

~~Bear this~~

Past (April 2005) 

Clank Thump Clank Thump Clank Thump

"Shut that freaking noise, boy! Get inside and make yourself useful" Jonathan yelled all of a sudden, startling Andrew amidst him playing over the garden steel fence. Jonathan sat on the chair, Christian on his lap and cigar between his teeth while Georgia fed their fussy newborn inside the house.

Andrew walked away from the fence towards his father upon seeing the pack of sweet toffee jar in his hand only to be shrugged off harshly, confusing him like every other day.

"Dad, can I have a toffee?" asked the eldest boy politely but Jonathan blatantly ignored the boy and solely focused elsewhere. Shrugging benevolently.

There she was cradling her week old daughter and it gave a blissful feeling to the boy, he took slow steps to not wake his little sister up and tapped on his mother's arm and whispered.

"Mama-"

"Hush sweetie, not now. Your sister is sleeping, I believe what you have can wait" Georgia spoke before Andrew could even utter anything else, it had upset him but he obeyed his mother, because according to him atleast she was answering him and like a good big brother he didn't want to wake his baby sister up so he chose to walk away quietly just like he came in.

Bolting his room door, Andrew climbed out of his window onto the roof and sat under the old mango tree shade deciphering why he always gets ignored by both of his parents now. This particular spot on the roof was his go-to space whenever he was upset and nobody knew about it-

"Andy" A familiar raspy yet sweet voice suddenly whisper-yelled taking the boy off guard, making him almost slip down the roof. The little girl's life flashed in front of her eyes for a brief second but was quick enough to hold the slipping boy's hand. 

Andrew let out a long breath, placing a hand over his heart before letting out a soft giggle.

"You scared me" She huffed, sitting beside the laughing boy who was a little younger than her. "Stop laughing Andrew it's not funny...?"

"Oh yeah yeah?" He said placing his hand over his chest as his laugh simmered down a little. "Why did you come here? Did my dad not see you?" Andrew asked genuinely while she picked on the fallen tree leaves on the roof and shrugged.

"I saw you climbing thought you could use some company" She told him like it's a no biggie, leaving the second question unanswered; meaning she didn't care. It made the boy happy that he wasn't alone, well she was cheering enough for him as they talked watching the blueberry sky.

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Present

A blue SUV came to a noisy halt in front of the busiest bar in New York, she looked around the place that had a long line of college kids standing to live their wild weekend away much like herself. Tapping her index finger over the steering wheel she took one last drag from her minty cigarette, exhaling out the cloud of smoke she stepped out to walk into the booming place and crushed her burnt cigarette with the high heel before striding off past the line whilst taking advantage of her badge.

(Lovers in the night by Seori playing)

Taking her usual seat by the corner of the counter where she could see everyone entering the bar, she bought herself a tray of tequila shots knowing very well that it will be too much from the looks of the bartender but all she had in her mind was "fuck all" from the drumming stress from the day. Yusha took her first shot and felt all the blockages open up active and rolled her sleeves, cracking the tensions on her neck.