please click away if you are sensitive to mentions of self-harm/suicidal stuff
Im going to go ahead and say it
im not fine
im not okay
I've been forcing a smile so you guys could be happy, which i still will continue to do
i've been forcing a smile for my family, to make them think im okay
i may act happy but im not
One of the reasons is, i have a crush on someone, i thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but i realized when i saw that they'd unfriended me on discord and roblox, i realized how much that crush really was true. im sure they unfriended me because i said in my server that i'd been banned from discord, but still. i realize how much that crush was real and i feel like they're leaving me behind. i also have started to suffer from overwhelming suicidal thoughts, Autophobia/monophobia, and Athazagoraphobia recently.
and im pretty darn sure i have Social Anxiety Disorder, which has gotten worse lately.
so
Im not okay
Im not fine
but i'll continue to paint a smile on my face for you guys, because all of you mean the world to me
sorry for all the upsetting things
but i just had to say it
