What about our garden? (Tsukkiyama angst)

hospital flowers--10

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"how many are you looking for,exactly?" a nervous giggle left the flower shop owners' mouth.

they had been to multiple shops today and couldn't seem to find one that had any sunflowers, or even enough other flowers.  they had finally found one that actually sold sunflowers, it wasn't going to work without sunflowers and they defiantly needed a lot of them. maybe december wasn't a good flower season.

"as many as possible."

"can i ask why you need so many?" the lady said whilst gathering many bouquets of sunflowers.

"no." kei probably said far too bluntly. 

"o-okay. sorry for asking."

"no don't worry! it's just we need them for someone who's really sick. it's his boyfriend, so it's a bit of a touchy subject." daichi apologised for his friends bluntness. 

"oh my god i'm so sorry. well i really hope he gets well soon."

"he will." daichi just wanted to help, he just wanted to be there for kei, but tsukishima couldn't even admit that tadashi was not going to get better.

"that's good." her worried expression was now replaced with a warm smile. her smile was almost like yams, just nowhere near as perfect. 

all daichi could do was stare at his friend. how was he supposed to help, how was he supposed to comfort the boy. 

Kei knew that tadashi wasn't going to get better, he knew this more then anybody, but he could pretend. there's nothing wrong with pretending. for now, anyway.  

they gatherd the sunflowers,roses,tulips,lily's,poppy's into their arms. you could hardly see their faces over the flowers. hopefully this would be enough. kei's plan was to cover the floor and the bed in flowers whilst yams slept. he'd have something beatiful to wake up too. it would be as close to a flower field as possible.they'd be warm and be able to see the flowers. nothing could be better, well nothing possible anyway. he just hoped this would be close enough to what his lover wanted. 

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the car journey was pretty quiet, they had been in the car for a good 20 minutes to get back to the hospital. there was still a good 10 minutes left,though. the silence wasn't awkward, they just didn't have anything to say to one another. daichi wanted to talk, he wanted to comfort the other, he wanted to tell him everything would be okay, he wanted to tell him how lovely this flower idea was. no words would come out, though, nothing at all. daichi glanced over at the blonde, what seemed for the 100th time, but this time something seemed diffrent. tsukki had been starring out the window and clutching at the few sunflowers in his arms. he was now starring at the flowers, possibly crying but it wasn't viewable. he wasn't gripping at the flowers anymore, now he was just gently stroking one of the petals. 

"kei?"

no answer.

"kei!"

"hmm?"

"what's wrong?" how stupid daichi felt after asking that. what a ridiculous question.  how could he even ask that. 'what's wrong?'his boyfriend would be dead in any number of days; he had to watch the boy die;he was losing the person he loves the most.

"what's wrong?" the blonde shouted.daichi thought it would be best to pull over and let the boy cry,shout. he needed this release.  

"what the hell do you think is wrong, daichi. i'm not delusional. i know he isn't getting better, i know he won't. i know! i know better then anybody. i know because i am the one watching him die. you aren't. suga isn't. hinita isn't. yachi isn't. no body is. no one even visits him. suga does sometimes. but not you, not anyone else. i love him.... i love him so much. he is going to die. he's gonna leave me alone, all by myself. everyday i'm going to be reminded that i am all by myself. he hardly remembers anything. he isn't there anymore, daichi. he...he just isn't there. i only know he's alive because of that bloody heart monitor. without that and his occasional nods or the times he try's to speak. it hurts him, it exhausts him. but yet he still does it for me. he till try's to speak. he still try's to live and breath by himself. b-but he can't....... not even for me he can't...... why him. why my precious flower. the kindest happiest person alive."