The time came.
The time came to face her fears even though they felt as if they weren't even justifiable.
She was curled up in her duvet in a vain attempt to block out the light which was filtering through the room, her head ducked under the duvet almost making her breathing struggle.
Either that or she was having another glorified panic attack.
She groaned at a knock on the door causing her to chuck the duvet off her in a stroppy almost-teenage-like way which she found soothingly immature of herself.
She let out a withdrawn breath and swallowed, her mouth seemingly dry from the lack of water in her body or mouth until she found the strength to stand up and go to the door.
"Oh it's you"
"Is that all you have to say?"
"What else do you want me to say?" she stares blankly at him as she steps aside to allow him into the room, he takes the chair which was situated slightly under the desk
"I want to know why"
"I'm surprised Sacha didnt tell you" she glares, he just gulps at the infamous death stare coming from his friend, "He said two opinions are better than one so go on say your piece"
"Say my piece?"
"Yes, say your piece" she nods grabbing her duvet and draping over her shoulders to keep warm or protected she didnt know
"What do you want me to say? I dont want to upset you-"
"Fletch" she cries incredulously, he sighs "I'm not some broken old woman I still can take harsh words and insults-"
"I dont want to offend you" he defends himself causing her eyes to narrow into slits "And i dont want to hurt your mind anymore than it obviously already is which leads me to a question i want to ask you; why didnt you tell me?"
"Because I knew it would be spread around that hospital like wildfire"
"And when have you cared about what people think?"
"I dont-"
"Because Kian is there and you dont want this to get back to him, why would you even care anyway I thought you two were over unless of course you still love him?"
She said nothing except for lowering her gaze causing Fletch's eyes to narrow as realisation seeps into him
"Oh my god you still love him"
"Shut up" she snaps trying to refrain her body from letting the small involuntary smile creep onto her face "It's dead anyway"
"Even so the formidable Jac Naylor actually loves someone so much for the cold-hearted cow we all know and love-"
"Love" she scoffs, he raises his eyebrows "Yeah because love is so simplistic"
"It can be revitalising"
"What is this?"
"What's what?"
"All this" she waves her finger around in the air "Are you trying to psycho-analyse me?"
"What? No-"
"I'm joking," she remarks noticing the panic in his expression and voice "I can still joke and be sarcastic in an insane asylum-"
"Dont call it that" he sighs going to sit on the edge of the bed, she looks up at him with a lopsided smile "Sacha also said you needed my help"
"Your help?"
"Yes, my help. He said you might need a second opinion on your feelings and the way you feel about certain things"
"And what things are these?"
"Fine...Kian and him visiting you"
"I didnt say that" she mutters narrowing her eyes in utter suspicion mentally berating herself for becoming that readable to Sacha "Even so Sacha shouldn't have divulged that information to you-"
"Jac stop panicking" he sighs taking her hands, she shakes her head biting her lip "I want to help so tell me what you need"
"Is he clean?" she whispers looking up at Fletch, he smiles and nods seeing the genuine intrigue in her eyes and facial expression
"He was struggling at first when you left, I dont want to make you feel guilty Jac"
"You won't"
"When you left after the siege he..."
"Right" she nods slowly before sighing "Ok"
"He's clean now though, has been for a couple of months" he assures her, she gulps and nods slowly before lying back on the bed "So do you want to see him?"
"I dont know" she softens slightly closing her eyes "I loved him Fletch"
"I know"
"And you know I dont tell a lot of people I love them-"
"I know"
"So what do I do?"
"I think you should see him, I'll speak to him if you want and you know I will do it discreetly and I will recite to him what you say to me if you want me to"
"Ok, yeah" she nods slowly "I'll see him"
"Really?" he questions kind of confused that all her defences were down and he could just speak to her freely without any witty remark or sarcastic slur but when he looked at her again he could tell she was exhausted, the dark circles under her eyes from the utmost torture of her mind
"Yeah"
"Alright well, I'll head off and get that sorted for you as long as you're sure thats what you want?"
"I'm sure" she yawns tiredly pulling the duvet over her body causing him to smile, he leans over and kisses her on the forehead which she scrunches her face up at before settling down underneath the covers and drifting off into a peaceful slumber...
