TommyInnit Oneshots (mostly angst & fluff)

Numb

Tommy never understood the word numb as a child. Did it mean you felt no pain. Or were you a mean person to others? The thought always came across his mind, but he could never figure out what the word meant.

Now, at age 16. He understood the word numb. A year back his mother took him to a doctor and he got diagnosed with Alexithymia. He felt nothing. Not sadness, happiness, anger, love. Not a single emotion.
He didn't even feel anything when both of his parents died. He lives on his own with no family.
But he couldn't let others worry for him. So he faked his emotions. He faked being happy or whatever that meant.
He would study, and watch videos, on how to fake happiness.
He watched the stupidest movies to copy their trait of what you called happiness.
He learned fairly quickly, and not a single person caught onto Tommy.
They all saw him as a happy, big ego child.

Tommy was in a call with his friends just hanging out. None of them were streaming so he didn't have to put his online persona on. He still had to show his fake emotions though.
Tommy zoned out a while ago. Thinking about what it would be like to feel. Did it suck? Or was it worth it?
"Tommy? Tommy!" He was pulled out of his thoughts of Wilbur yelling at him.
"What? Yeah what's up Will?" He said regaining his consciousness.
"You okay bud? You zoned out for a while. Everyone else left," he said, sounding worried.
"Sorry for zoning out. I was just thinking. You can head out if you want," Tommy said showing no emotion.
This scared Wilbur even more but didn't question it,
"Alright, Tommy. Night bud."
Tommy said his goodnight as well and ended the call. Or at least he think he did.
"FUCK. why can't I just feel. Is it that hard? I hate faking this shit. I just want to feel something. Literally fucking anything." He practically yelled out.
The thing is, he knew he should have felt what others called frustration, but he didn't feel that way.

Wilbur was sat, shocked, still in call with the blonde, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't just say something now.
He left the call quickly, before Tommy realized he was still there.
He should probably talk to Tommy in the morning.

-Next Day-

Tommy woke up very late. He looked over at the time. 12:46 PM..
He wasn't surprised that he woke up that late but he promised his friends to join an among us game at one. He got out of the bed to get ready for the day.
He brushed his teeth and made sure to keep a sweatshirt on. Tommy started self harming a while ago. He got tired of not feeling anything, so he went to physical pain instead of mental. It released the stress.
Tommy joined the call 10 minutes late on accident,
"Sorry for joining the call late guys. I forgot to set an alarm," he says sounding tired still.
"You just woke up? When did you fall asleep last night Tommy?" Wilbur asked.
"As soon as I got off the call with you," he said not even thinking about his answer.
"Tommy our call ended at 8PM. That's over 15 hours of sleep. Are you sleeping alright?" Wilbur sounded more worried than he did in the beginning.
"I mean 15 hours of sleep does show I'm sleeping well," Tommy joked, making the others laugh.

"Just start the among us games guys. I'm fine alright," he said trying to out on his happy mask.
The among us game started and he got crewmate.
The lobby consisted of Tommy, Tubbo, Wilbur, Big Q, Jschlatt, Skeppy, Techno, Dream, Sapnap, and Bad.
Tommy stuck with Tubbo most of the round until the end of it.
He walked into Admin to see Dream venting and a dead body, in the corner.
He reports the body and speaks before Dream could.

Tommy's POV

"I saw Dream vent in Admin and I found a dead Big Q there too," I said in my normal loud voice.
"No I saw Tommy kill Big Q and he saw me walk into admin. He reported the body before I could,"
Both of our cases sounded well, but being me, the blame was thrown on me.
"How about we vote off the loud child first, and then vote off Dream if it's not Tommy," Sapnap spoke up.
I sigh before speaking up,
"C'mon guys, please vote off Dream first. I barley ever last a round anymore."
They all laugh at my response and still vote me off.

I start following Wilbur around to see what he was doing.
He walks up to Tubbo and kills him!
I type in chat, "hey big man. That's unfortunate,"
I do a little dance and so does he. Tubbo responds,
"Surely Wilbur and Dream won't win," we both start to follow Wilbur until Tubbo's body was reported they bicker back and forth before Sapnap speaks,
"I say we vote off Dream because the imposter wasn't Tommy. Dream has to be one of them,"

Skeppy speaks next,
"It is nice not having Tommy screaming at us though," I hear him snicker. The others laugh at his response except for Wilbur.
Is he okay? He usually is being his normal snarky remark self.
I get a discord message from Wilbur saying he wants me to stay and talk with everyone after we're done with the game.
In the end Wilbur wins the game for Dream and himself.

"Okay is there something you guys wanted to tell me before I go?" I say getting a weird feeling in my stomach. I couldn't quite catch what it was though. No one spoke.
"Cmon on guys I want this to be quick. I'm pretty tired,"
"How are you tired? You slept 15 hours." Wilbur spoke first.
"I guess I just am. I've been pretty tired lately and sleep is not helping much," I say while yawning.
"Tommy last night when we ended call, um- you didn't end the call," Wilbur said. I felt my heart drop.
"What do you mean, I checked before I went to bed I was out of the call before I closed my tabs," I say showing no emotion.
"Tommy please don't make me say what I heard. Just tell us,"

I knew exactly what Wilbur was talking about. I knew I would have to tell them someday. I just didn't imagine them finding out this way.
I groan, "Fuck you Wilbur. You couldn't just let me keep one thing to myself could you? Fine I'll tell you all what Wilbur heard last night, but don't go crying over it. Because it's not that big of a deal," I hear a bunch of hums before I speak again,
"Around sometime last year, I was diagnosed with Alexithymia. Do any of you know what that means?" I ask. They all say no.
"It means you feel no emotion. I can't feel anything. Not happiness, or sadness, love, anger, annoyance, nervousness. Nothing. I didn't even feel anything when," I stopped myself from saying the next words. I couldn't let them know I was living alone. It's illegal.

They would surely send me to an orphanage. No way,
"What were you saying? I didn't hear what you said Tommy," Tubbo said. Should I tell them? How would they react?
"Uh-um I didn't react when my parents died," I hear a bunch of gasps.
"You motherfuckers better keep your mouth shut. I am not going to any orphanage. I got 2 more years and I'm doing fine. I pay rent and I still eat."
"Why didn't you tell us Tommy? We wouldn't of said anything." Wilbur says.
"Because no matter if you guys are my friends or not. I can't trust. I- I just didn't know what to do. So I didn't tell anyone," I say with my voice more quiet than usual.

"Tommy I'm coming to pick you up. What's your address." Wilbur says. I have that feeling in my stomach rising again. Whatever it is I hate it,
"No the hell your not. I already said I'm not going to an orphanage. Are you guys deaf or sum shit?" I say with my voice rising. I hear Wilbur laugh,
"I'm not sending you to an orphanage Tommy. You're gonna live with me." What? He said what?
"I'm sorry you said I'm living with you?"
I hear the others laugh at my response,
"Yes I did Tommy, now give me your address so I can pick you up" I sent him my location and stayed in the call with the others while Wilbur drove to my house.

"How did you hide it so well kid?" I hear Schlatt say.
"I didn't want anyone worrying for me. I thought you guys would be hurt. As much as I hate to say it, those memories with everyone have no emotions in it. But they still have importance to me," I felt like something was lifting up my chest. I wish I could feel like this forever.
"I'm glad you told us. We can teach you emotions now!" Tubbo said excitedly. I laugh at his excitement.
"Yeah you can try, but I can't promise you guys it will work alright?"
We all talk for a bit more till I hear Wilbur knock on my door.
I open the door and hug him. I hear him chuckle and wrap his arms around me,
"Well hi to you too Tommy," I pull away from the hug,
"Thank you,"
"Your welcome Toms, and we'll be back for your stuff later okay?" I nod my head and head to his car.

I'm numb

But I'm not alone

1579 words

YEAH. We did it . Well I did it but I guess you read it. Anyways go eat something or drink something. I luv you and so does everyone in your life you beautiful bastard ❤️