Raven
I stare at the beautiful picnic setting in wonder as Cal gently takes a hold of my hand and leads me towards it. He has a soft smile on his face and I couldn't believe what was happening. We sat down, ate a little, drank some soda; all in complete silence.
"Raven?" Cal calls softly, the tone of his voice worrying me from how nervous he sounded.
I turn my attention to him as he stares at me with hesitance in his stormy grey eyes.
"What is it?" I ask, worried that it was all going to end. That when he replied his words would be hurtful and break my heart once again - not that there was much left to break.
"I have to confess to you what happened last night. You told me about your past. You told me everything that happened. About your mom and her death, your horrible father, your brother and how he died, your separation from your friends - everything."
He looks at me hesitantly. His body is tense as he waits for my reaction. But I'm left speechless. Aside from my friends, I've never told anybody about my past or about my brother and it scares me with how much I had actually told him. Tears sting the corners of my eyes as the memories of last night flood into my mind like a runaway train. I remember our conversation, how I told him everything, how I cried about our rejection. I also remember that he revealed to me how his sister was murdered by her rogue mate and that it was the reason he despised rogues.
A whimper escapes my lips as I try not to let this affect me but I can't lie and say that it doesn't. I look over at Cal and see so many emotions in his eyes that I actually feel embarrassed. I close my eyes and turn my head away from his curious gaze that silently judges me.
What have I done? I'm such a fucking imbecile!
I gasp in surprise as I feel gentle fingers go under my chin and softly turn my head towards them. Cal gives me a concerned look as he cups my face between his hands and lifts my head up to look at him.
Cal
I gently cup her cheeks and turn her attention to me as tears pool down her silky cheeks. It physically hurts to see her cry like this and I have to control myself not to cuddle her to my chest as what I have to say is important.
"Raven, last night you revealed a lot to me. I can't say that I'm not shocked but I now understand how you've been feeling. I can no longer hide how I feel. At first, I thought I didn't need you. The thought of my sister and the rogues kept holding me back from how I really felt about you. You're all I ever wanted and all I'll ever need. In short, what I'm trying to say is that I love you to the moon and back and I want you to be my mate and accept me as yours."
She stares at me with wide, mesmerized eyes, the beautiful cognac colour swirling with so many emotions. But the words that come out of her mouth leave me unable to speak.
"No, Cal."
My breath hitches in my throat but I can't say that I'm not surprised. I've done so many horrible things to her, it would be practically impossible to forgive me. She shakes her head sadly as she gets out of my hold and stares at me with sorrow.
"Cal, if you had told me all of this when we had first met or even on our date, I think my answer would have been different. But you didn't. You've let me suffer for so long. Besides, you aren't being real Cal."
"What?"
"Face it Cal, this is all a mixture of pity and the fact that we had sex last night. You feel sorry for me and that's not how I want to be loved, Cal. I want you to look away from my past, look past the pity and love me for me, not because you feel sorry for me."
"This isn't pity-"
"Yes it is! Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't do all of this because you felt bad for me?"
I look at her heated brown eyes and realise she is speaking the truth. This is all out of pity. I can't lie to her. As I shake my head, I can see the sorrow in her eyes.
"Cal, what happened last night was amazing. I will never regret that. But, I can't pretend that what we did was out of love. It was a moment of weakness for both of us and I'm honestly sad that it was. I do love you, Cal. I always have. But you'll forever see me as a rogue and that will never change. So, in the end, I can't accept you as my mate."
I only nod at her words while tears spill from her eyes and she runs away. I don't have the heart to follow her. In all fairness, I don't even think she wants to see me. So I just watch as she gets further and further away, my heart slowly ripping apart as she does.
* * *
After a few hours I return home, basket and all, only to see Raven with her own baggage. She's carrying a large suitcase but stops when she sees me. Our eyes clash in a mix of cognac brown and smokey grey. Both of us try not to show how sad we are to see the other but I'm pretty sure we're both doing a piss poor job at it.
"Where are you off to?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood. It doesn't work.
"I'm leaving, Cal. Things will never be right between us and I honestly can't stay here anymore."
Clyde howls in pain as he tries to take over my body but I stop him. He will only cause her more pain by asking her to stay. To be fair, I don't want her going either. I want there to be more between us but I know my hatred for rogues will only hold me back and in the end, I will only do more harm to her than good. She deserves better than me and I know it.
"Good luck out there, I wish you only the best,"I say.
She nods and begins walking off. As she passes me, our shoulders brush together and gentle sparks shoot through me. But I ignore them as she continues on. This is for the best.
Before she is fully out of sight, I call to her,"Raven." She turns around to look at me, sadness swirling in her cognac eyes as I speak,"You're welcome on my territory anytime. I know you'll miss the boys so you can come and see them whenever you like."
Tears appear in her eyes but she forces them back as she softly thanks me, bowing her head as a sign of being grateful. I merely nod as she lifts her head and disappears into the woods. Clyde is begging me to go after her but I remain in place, staring in the direction she had left in with longing and guilt. It reminds me of the day we had first met. I had stood staring like this as well when I had chased her away. But this time was different. This time I didn't push away the sorrow I felt as I turn and head over to the house.
This is for the best.
YOU ARE READING
Broken bond
Werewolf"I, Cal River, Alpha of the Climax Night pack reject you, Raven Woods, as my pack's Luna and as my mate." ***** Raven Woods was born a rogue. She would live her life as a rogue. She would die as a rogue. Nothing much would change about her status...
