𝐌𝐑. 𝐉 || 𝐉.𝐉𝐊 ✓

①④ | 𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙙

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During the night, you woke up with another cold sweat from having a bad dream about your ex. You sit up quickly, breathing heavily while holding your hand over your heart to calm your nerves.

You were freaked out. What the hell are you doing with your life right now?

Here you are, sleeping with your boss, not just a random guy from off the street, but the man who puts money in your purse.

You glance down at him, seeing him sleep comfortably with his arm still draped around your waist. He's snuggled up to you close.

With a quivering lip, you carefully move his arm away from you and slide out of the bed. You walk downstairs and head into the bathroom to grab your clothes.

You couldn't do this.

And so you left, leaving nothing behind as you shut the penthouse door and went down the building to try and wave down a taxi.

⇠ ⋄ ⋄ ⋄ ⋰ ☆ ⋱ ⋄ ⋄ ⋄ ⇢

After making it back to your small apartment, you were alone.

Yoongi must've stayed with Hoseok for the night since he knew about Jungkook and you.

You sigh, shutting and locking the apartment door behind you.

This is definitely not what you thought was going to happen tonight.

It's around eleven, and you felt sick to your stomach.

Why can't Taehyung get out of your head? It's like every time you want to move on, he won't let you. Every time you're enjoying yourself, he sneaks into your mind, and you remember the old times you two spent together.

It hurts to reminisce in those memories because they were all so happy and heartfelt, but now they're nothing but dull times that you so wish to forget.

The pain that comes to your heart is terrible. You didn't deserve any of this, so why? Why did he have to cheat? Why couldn't you both have worked through it? If you would've confronted him that day would you two already be moving on in your relationship like he had said?

...was it your fault for not giving him more?

Your head is a mess with thoughts coming in and out, even though you know they aren't right to be thinking. You gave Taehyung your all, and it hurt because even though you did everything you possibly could, it still wasn't enough for him.

It's over. You have to keep reminding yourself. This isn't healthy, and it's making you too scared to actually try and have another relationship with someone.

Yes, you and Jungkook were fuck buddies, if you could even say that, but what if the two of you were to start falling for one another? Sometimes when you're with him, you think about Taehyung, so is that a sign to go back to him or a sign for you to try and move on with someone else? You have no clue what these so-called signs are trying to tell you. You only know that regardless of what your mind is telling you, your heart is still going against it.

Jungkook is more romantic than Taehyung could be and that's saying a lot because you've only slept with him twice. However, the cuddling, spooning, laughing, and holding onto each other those few times are what makes you consider what if.

What if you're not enough for him either?

But you shouldn't be thinking that. You don't know him enough to be considering that possibility. You're just so lonely that you're not thinking right.