Revelations

nineteen

a/n: alright...this was something I started working on a long time ago and decided to just go for. this series was already a two-parter, and I finished it just after far from home came out. I didn't know the details of the movie at that point, so I knew if I wanted to continue this series, I'd have to change some things around. 

anyway, here is the far from home continuation of revelations :) I suggest going back and reading this series if it's been a while, just to refresh your brain on everything that's happened. 

updates are going to be very slow, just warning you guys now

warnings: ptsd, mentions of depression, talks of therapy, some mentions of character deaths, language

"Y/N?" Peter's voice made you jolt upright, his concerned brown eyes right in front of you. "What the hell was that?"

For a minute you had to register that you were in your bed, and he was right next to you. With shaking fingers you reached a hand out and held his face, shutting your eyes. He let you, concern still swimming in his eyes as you opened yours to look back at him, relaxing.

"Nothing, that was nothing. I promise."

"That-that was not nothing," Peter's took your wrist, lowering your hand from his face. "You were screaming, sweetheart."

"What?" Your voice did feel hoarse, but you figured it was from sleep, "I-What?"

"I-I thought we were being robbed or something," he let out a weak laugh, but it sounded forced. "Are you alright? That was..."

You swallowed, glancing at the alarm clock on your bedside table and seeing the time. "Oh God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up this early."

"Don't apologize," he gently moved you to lean against him, laying you both back down on the pillows. "Talk to me."

"Titan again," you shut your eyes, not wanting to elaborate. You still haven't told him the truth about what kind of state you were in right after he died. He didn't know that you had been basically starving yourself, not speaking, not doing anything until you came home and realized May was still around. 

If May hadn't been spared in the snap, you had no idea what would've happened to you.

Peter held you tighter, taking one of your hands and bringing it up to his chest, where his heart was. You could feel his heartbeat beneath your fingertips, and it made you relax a little more. "That'll never happen again."

"I know," you relaxed a little more, though you could feel the tenseness in your shoulders and the way your heart was still beating a little faster than normal. 

"Try to go back to sleep," he said softly, and you met his eyes again. He was still concerned. You knew this was scaring him - you had told him when he first came back that it would go away, and you genuinely thought it would. With him back, what did you have to fear?

But memories of Titan still plagued you, even months and months after the return, and years after he had died. For the first time ever, you had understood why he had initially rejected you all those years ago. You understood his fear of losing his soulmate, and you were glad he never had to experience it.