Revelations

six

warnings: language, I'm so mean...

Peter woke up gasping.

He hadn't had this particular nightmare in a while, but whenever he did, it always shook him to his core. It had been months, over a year even since it happened, but every once in a while he'd be forced to remember it by the haunting nightmares he had.

A soft knock on the door made him jump a little before he saw his aunt peek her head in. She had probably heard him making noise in his sleep like he always did when he had this nightmare.

"Again?" She asked a bit tiredly, worry in her eyes at the sight of Peter sitting up running a hand through his hair, his entire body tense. He nodded as he rubbed his eyes, scooting over so May could sit down next to him.

"I really miss him," he mumbled when she put an arm around his shoulder, tugging him against her side. She sighed, pressing a kiss to his hair.

"I do too," she replied, a sad little smile on her lips, "He'd be so proud of you, Peter."

He couldn't bring himself to reply to that, just trying to control his racing heart and hugging May back. His eyes focused on the faded, barely noticeable tattoo on her wrist.

Any time he saw it, he was reminded of why he couldn't let himself be with you. Why he couldn't let himself be with anyone, not even his soulmate whenever they showed up.

He had enough pain when Ben died. Hell, he still had recurring nightmares about his death (that he still blames himself for). But he knew his hurt was nothing compared to May's. He had seen first hand how she had to pick up the pieces after Ben was taken from them, how she had to keep her pain in and be strong for Peter, even when she wasn't.

Peter could read her like an open book. He knew she was hurting still, and would be for a long time. He knew she wasn't always okay when she said she was. Ben wasn't taken by choice, but Peter willingly threw himself into danger every day.

How could he willingly jeopardize his life, knowing what it would do to his soulmate if he died?

"Get some sleep, honey," May rubbed his shoulder, shooting him another little smile, "You have school in a few hours."

"Yeah," he mumbled, thanking her for checking on him like she always did as she slipped back quietly out of his room.

He knew he wouldn't sleep, though, not after that. Trying not to get blinded when he grabbed his phone and turned it on, he groaned when he saw that it was four in the morning. He barely got enough sleep as it is.

After waiting until he was positive May was asleep, he grabbed his suit and slipped it on, knowing he needed the distraction, even if it would cause him to be so much more tired during the day.

-

"How's your head?"

"Better," your hand raised to lightly touch your forehead, the cut fading into a barely noticeable scar. "You should consider going into the medical field, Dr. Spider-Man."

He let out a laugh, "Not really my field of interest, but thanks."

The both of you had just started patrol, looking out for anything unusual. It was easy to get back into routine, despite the fact that Spider-Man now knew what you looked like. You were still a little uncomfortable about it, but he acted like it didn't bother him like it clearly had when he first saw you, so it was getting easier.

"You seem tired," you pointed out, giving him a look, "You alright?"

"Just not sleeping well lately," he shrugged, not going into further detail. "I'll be fine, though."