silence - nct, norenmin

⍣ 4 ⍣

jaemin took a deep breath, his eyes scanning the crowdy place worriedly.

here he was.

the first day of school.

and he wasn't sure he was totally ready for it.

jaemin had already been pushed around a few times by students who got way too excited to meet friends or to see which class they were in.

jaemin wasn't excited.

he was scared.

he was terrified.

he finally got to approach the giant panels on which were displayed the classes.

he tried to stay distant from the others, but it was very difficult considering the crowd was pushing left and right, people screaming excitedly and not caring about their surroundings.

he found his name on the board quickly.

'na jaemin, class D7, room 119'

the shy boy walked out of this dangerous crowd, entering the huge building.

he looked left and right, searching for a map of the place to find the classroom he was supposed to go to.

sadly, there were no maps on the walls. only paintings next to which were glued tags with art students' names.

jaemin wasn't an art enthusiast.

he didn't understand what was the point of a painting or a sculpture.

sure, he wasn't an art enthusiast, but a painting on the wall caught his attention more than the others around.

jaemin approached the piece of art, his legs becoming jelly with every step he took.

that painting wasn't beautiful, but it wasn't ugly either. in fact, it was horrifying.

jaemin wanted to look away, but it didn't seem like he could. his eyes were glued to the canvas despite the fact that it made his heart beat uncontrollably fast.

the whole canvas was painted with thick and matte black paint, and a notch had been craved in the middle of the painting, surely using a sharp object to tear the painting open before filling the insides of the pit with a vibrant red colour. jaemin could see the large number of paint layers that had been applied; the painting was going out of frame, as if it was a 3D sculpture.

"i don't understand this painting either." a voice spoke next to jaemin, making his heart miss a beat.

the boy looked at the person that had interrupted his intense staring to find a rather young and beautiful lady standing there.

"i'm sorry if i scared you." she said with a smile.

jaemin shrugged as a response, not really knowing what to do.

"i've never seen you around school. are you a new student?"

the teenager nodded, trying to think of a way to communicate. he could feel that his voice would never work here.

"oh, that's why! my name is sunmi, i am the nurse. what's your name? do you need help finding your class?"

jaemin panicked having these many questions to answer without his voice.

first of all, he showed the palm of his hand – where he had written in big and clear letters his name - to sunmi.

then, as he was thinking of a way to tell you what he was searching for, the nurse cut him.

"hey, aren't you the one who suffers with mutism?" she asked.

jaemin's eyes lightened at her words.

she knew. he wouldn't need to suffer from being laughed at or anything.

he immediately nodded with a shy smile, making sunmi chuckle.

"your mother called me a few times since yesterday. she seems worried about you." she told to which jaemin shrugged. "come with me. i'll show you the way to your class."

jaemin happily followed the girl who offered him a small tour of the place.

perhaps that school could be a better place to be actually.

⍣

"good morning class. i am happy to meet you for the wonderful year that will follow. i'll need someone to hand out the timetables, someone for school ids, and another person for... these pieces of paper that i don't know what are about." the teacher told, making the whole class chuckle.

jaemin gulped, feeling his heart beating very fast in his chest.

he was in a classroom, a place he hadn't been for 8 years, with many people whom he didn't know, and that was stressing him out.

but what stressed him out even more was the fact the teacher asked him to hand out the undetermined papers as jaemin was seated at the front row, next to the wall, and so, next to the teacher's desk.

the shy boy hadn't the choice.

he stood up, grabbing the bundle of paper in his trembling hands before making his way around the class, trying his best not to approach people too close.

he could feel the others' stares on him.

he could hear their comments.

he could see they were interested in him.

and he hated it.

he felt like he was standing out naked in front of a huge crowd, with the people endlessly taking pictures of him, and sharing them with the entire world.

he hated that. he hated nakedness.

and to be totally honest, it made him regret coming back to school.