So Many Secrets.

First Christmas

"How is your winter holiday so far?" Dumbledore asks. I shrug. I don't know if I can put it all into words. "Can you try?"

"The Holiday's been okay, I guess..." There. I came here to talk, and I'm talking.

"You've been spending your time with Longbottom, correct? Many of your professors tell me when you aren't with Malfoy, you're with him."

"I like Neville... I think we're really good friends." 

"You seem anxious. Did something happen?"

Yeah. Something happened, alright, and now Snape hates me and now he'll kick me out and I'll just be homeless or something-

"Harry."

I look up at him. He nods for me to say something.

I don't.

"How has your reading been going? I saw you this morning in the Great Hall reading something?"

"It was a little kid book. Severus gave me homework, I was s'posed to try and read the whole thing before lunch."

"And did you?"

I nod. I did. I read a whole book by myself. Well, mostly, Neville helped me with the word 'humongous', which just means huge. Really, really big. 

"How long was?"

"Thirty pages, but it had pictures so-"

"That's still long, don't you think?" He holds out his jar of candy, silently asking if I want one. I take a mini chocolate bar, he takes a licorice wand. "I think you're making wonderful progress, my boy."

"I'm not that great at it, though."

"But you're good at it, and that's better than horrible, is it not?"

I nod. I guess he has a point.

"Was there anything specific you wished to talk about, or were you just lonely and needed company?"

"Maybe a little bit of both," I say. "But I don't want to talk about it right now."

"That's perfectly fine. Tell me, have you ever played Wizard's chess?" He pulls out a board.

"Me and Draco play all the time," I say. He smiles and starts to set up. 

"Harry, I believe this has been very hard for you," he says, making his move. "And I'm sorry."

"Sorry? What for?"

"How much pain you've gone through. How much hurt you still feel. I never thought Petunia would do that, much less let Vernon do it."

Sometimes I feel really mad at him for sending me there. Other times I feel better because now he's helping me, but other times I hate him.

This isn't one of those times.

"'S not your fault," I say. One of my pieces gets smashed by one of Dumbledore's, his knight I think.

We play for a while. I makes me feel a lot better. We talk about stupid nonsense, things that don't really matter, and how Quidditch is going. It's great, until I glance at the clock and see what time it is.

It's almost time for me to go back!

"Can I leave for Draco's early?" I ask as we clean up. "Please?"

He shrugs. "Harry, that is not up to me, that is up to Severus. You will have to ask him, first-"

"I can't!" I interrupt. 

"Why can't you?" He flicks his wand, and the box goes back on the shelf. "Did you and Severus have an argument or a fight?"

"No!"