Who Would Have Thought

Chapter 30

"So Chelsey is pretty cute," Derek smiled as he pulled to a stop at a red light. She had to say something to that. She loved Chelsey, she had to talk about her. Because she hadn't really said all that much since leaving the restaurant.

"She is.

"She really loves you."

"I know."

"You really love her."

"Yeah," she sighed, still looking at the window. She was holding his hand, which he figured was a good sign, but she was strangely quiet.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, giving her hand a squeeze.

"I'm...no," she shook her head. "You know I'm not."

"I know," he sighed. "Are you ever going to talk to me again?"

"I'm talking to you now," she rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"Just...I need time or whatever," she sighed.

"Okay," he nodded slowly.

"You completely ambushed me."

"I know. That was wrong."

"Completely and totally ambushed me. You know...I told you I was figuring it out and...you ambushed me. Both of you did."

"I'm sorry. We shouldn't have done that."

"But you did."

"I don't know what to say besides sorry."

"You didn't even..." she shook her head. "You accused me of avoiding. And maybe I am. But what's wrong with that, Derek? What's wrong with avoiding this right now?"

"Nothing is," he shook his head.

"You acted like there was."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm just...I want what's best for you."

"And you think some random family I've never met is best for me right now?"

"I think they could be great for you, Mer."

"It's not your decision to make, Derek."

"I know," he nodded. "I'd like to have a say though."

"This is my thing," she said firmly. "And I want you involved in my life, I do. But this...you don't get this."

"I'm trying to get it."

"But you don't," she shook her head. "You don't get it because you had your family. Your completely perfect family or whatever. Or not perfect because of...but you still had your family. And they loved you. They completely loved you. And I...you don't get it."

"Maybe," he sighed. "But I want to, Mer."

"But you don't," she repeated. "I'm not shutting you out, Derek. I'm just...I'm trying to figure this out. You...this makes sense to you. Being with a family makes sense. It doesn't to me and I'm just trying to figure it out. You don't get to ambush me because you're terrified I'm going to slip or whatever."

"That's not why I ambushed you," he shook his head quickly as he pulled into her parking lot.

"Of course it's not," she rolled her eyes as she took off her seatbelt.

"It's not."

"Oh, so you ambushed me because you thought it was a good idea?" she asked, getting out of the car quickly.

"I ambushed you because...Izzie brought it up and it got out of hand."

"Izzie brought it up and you ambushed me."