Darkling

15| Mistake

Chapter 15: Mistake (Clara's POV)

I leaned against the door, trying to catch my breath and stop the tears that are flowing down my face. He hasn't knocked on the door to ask or check on me or interrupt or anything. I don't know if that should hurt or if I should be happy that he's giving me my space. 

"Clara?" 

Nevermind, I should have just been happy that he was giving me space. 

"Just a second!" I cleared my throat, trying not to sound like I was crying but I already knew that I sounded and looked the part. I splashed water on my face and then turned to leave. 

Then I saw the candle and the wax pooled around it. I looked around but there was no matchbox or lighter. He must have needed it while he showered but... how did he light it? 

"Clara?" 

"Yeah, yeah," I said quickly, looking around in confusion while twisting the lock open. I opened the door and looked at him, almost bumping into him because I didn't expect him to be right at the door. I thought he would have taken a few steps back after I unlocked the door. 

"Are you okay?" he asked hesitantly. 

I nodded, "It was just... weird. I haven't spoken to anyone other than my dad about it. I mean, everyone wanted me to go to therapy but..." I trailed off with a shrug. 

I probably shouldn't have said that to him. 

"Well, I did go actually. Just once. And I mean, getting diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety the first time you see the woman, doesn't really make you want to go back though, so I never went back." 

He looked at me, a little surprised but nodded slowly anyway. 

"And I probably shouldn't have said that. And now I'm rambling, sorry," I sighed, rubbing my hands on my thighs. "I'm so sorry, God." I groaned, dragging a hand down my face. "I should go." 

"Um, you—" 

"I should really just go," I nodded, not even letting him talk. I have never been so flustered, embarrassed, and humiliated all at the same time. "Yeah, I'm just going to go." 

"No." 

"What?" I looked at him in confusion. 

"No, you're not going anywhere." 

"Oh, because of the blackout, right. Sorry. I'll just... sit here then," I nodded, sitting back down on the floor where I was sitting earlier. 

"Okay," he said slowly, sitting beside me this time. "You're not staying here because of the blackout." 

I turned to look at him in confusion. "Oh?" 

"Oh," he nodded. "We're going to talk." 

"About?" 

"Anything and everything." 

"I'm a little lost," I mumbled. 

He cleared his throat, "You never spoke to anyone about this. So, you got a little emotional, that's okay. If you want to keep talking about it, we can. And if you don't, then um..." He reached up without looking and grabbed a book. "Here. We'll talk about Alice In Wonderland," he said, handing me the copy. 

"You have a copy of Alice In Wonderland?" I laughed, taking it from him. 

"It's a comfort book. My mom used to read it to me as a kid." 

I stared at the cover for a while. "Which character do you think you resonate with most?" I asked, turning to look at him. 

"Here at Arcane? Mad Hatter," he sighed. "Do you have a favorite quote from the book? I do," he said, raising his eyebrows at me.