i rarely felt calm these days. I don't know what to do with myself. Can I say that i dislikes school or i just reminding myself of things that i wasn't supposed to remember? Questions keep on coming to me, though i was just sitting. I want to do my homework, well, i did try at the very least of it. What am i going to asy to all of the teachers that i haven't done any of their homeworks cus ive been slacking and rying to cope with my sanity that is barely stable?
i just want to sleep away my problems, i dont want to be in a reality that i was hated by the teachers because of my stubbornness and mental illness? Daydreaming, making scenarios just to escape this reality.
traumatized by my childhood that was filled with terror and agony, damn. I really don't have a great childhood.
Butterflies flew away as well as my focus towards something important. Mind you, I don't like listening to speeches. Unless, it's very important, though i'll still be able to lose focus.
I dont want to grow up. I want him here. He's different. I'm tired. My family need therapy, this whole household need therapy. Using emotions to manipulate a person is not okay. Abah, i'm sorry for letting you down in your grave rn. I want to go home. This place isn't home. This isn't home. There's no comfortable warm and fuzzy feeling. It only have tense and sadness. I just want to go away. Please.
I was supposed to do my work but it just wont come to me.
The motivation, the feeling to go forward. I am stuck in the past. And the present. I want to go further, i really do but, something was holding me back. And I hate it. I want to yell, scream, throw things around, i want someone to comfort me, hold me, hug me, tell me that it's fine in coping for my mental health in an unhealthy way if it bring me comfort. I just want to be loved. Is that hard?
someone can relate?
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Random
Short Story..fuccin hell my life is pretty messed up, enjoy my vents and some random shit i write in here. this is a safe place for everyone.
